Seen any good movies lately? You probably have. We haven't, though. Because we've been too busy this week laughing our own faces off at a variety of songs about the stars of stage and screen. Here's a countdown of our favorites. Behold! A bunch of stuff we'd almost forgotten about!
5. Bananarama, "Robert De Niro's Waiting"
So the general crux of this song seems to be that the best way to cure yourself of thoughts of paranoia and hyper-sensitivity is to go home and watch a Robert De Niro movie. Um... What De Niro movies were these ladies watching in 1984, exactly? The Deer Hunter, perhaps? Raging Bull? Taxi Driver, maybe? It's not a course of therapy we'd recommend unless you want to be kept awake all night by thoughts of mirror-play with Travis Bickle and a round of Russian Roulette with ol' creepy chops, Christopher Walken. Bananarama would've had a much better time eating their cardboard pizza in front of Splash, we reckon.
4. Kim Carnes, "Bette Davis Eyes"
Alright, to be fair, it's not really about the song with this one; more the video. You start watching it, thinking it's standard '80s fare: a windy room, sunglasses indoors, and some shadow puppet action. Then it suddenly descends into what we can only describe as a disappearing-pirate-based slap-fest slash glove show (with a token Shiekh). Quite literally, stunning.
3. Rain Perry "Keanuville"
If we were Mr. Reeves, we'd probably be genuinely terrified by this song. And a little insulted, what with the line about his band needing "a few stronger songs" (which is polite, really, all things considered). Actually, if we were Shakespeare, we'd be pretty pissed too, what with his masterpiece, Hamlet, being reduced to the description: "really sad." In fact, the only people who come out on top in this video are American Spirit Yellows and Odwalla juice. Although, "If you scream, he'll just be looking at his hands" is sound advice for every girl battling to win the affections of a crush, eh ladies?