I just started seeing this new guy, and, of course, after a few dates, Googled him. I found out that he's kind of super rich and a big deal in his industry. In person, he's always really vague about what he does for a living. Also, I found a blog of his where he mentions his ex-girlfriend quite a bit. These details have affected how I see him, and I have to pretend I don't know about them! What do I do now? Do I come clean or hope that eventually he shares this stuff with me? I feel like a bit creepy about it all now.
~Snoop Bloggy Blogg
You should come clean. What crime have you committed, that of having an Internet connection and opposable thumbs? Actually you don't even need thumbs. A determined poodle could probably learn about your man candy online because, in the words of my remarkably not stoned friend, "Everybody Googles, man." I will admit, though, that Google has twat-blocked me in the past by consistently turning up articles I've written on how to peg dudes and generally referencing meth and crabs far more than is socially acceptable.
Just how common is it to "doogle" someone, as this Guardian post calls it, thus shattering my faith in humanity (and in my belief that "twirting" was the worst attempted internet/dating pun in existence)? In 2009, 43 percent of people admitted to Googling their dates, which is too high a percentage to be shrugged off as a last recourse of the creepy weirdos. Some even go so far as to say that you should Google people, as a precautionary measure, because you're obviously too smitten -- or "sminternetted" if you will -- to realize you're about to go ice skating with a potential axe-murderer. Not only that, but his a capella group in college merely placed third in the regionals for their "spirited, yet contrite rendition of The Beatles' 'Magical Mystery Tour,'" and how can you go out with such a tertiary loser anyway?
The fact that he's vague about what he does is probably simply because he doesn't want people to be into him for $uperficial reasons. And, in terms of information about the past relationships that you gleaned from his blog -- assuming there is nothing alarming (a la violence, maliciousness, references to Olivia Newton-John) -- I see no big cause for concern. In fact, if he's putting his life out there on the interwebz, then he's not trying to hide anything, and hence won't be alarmed that you stumbled across his words. He might even be flattered. So go forth, and be sminternetted! Because curiosity did not, in fact, kill the LOLcat. It was Alf!