Without getting all heavy on you and posting depressing links to rape
trial outcomes, some men (and women too) take "no" to be a form of
token resistance, as opposed to, you know, actual resistance. UC Davis
professor Michael Motley did a study in 2008 on such
gaps in intimate communication between the sexes, and found that men
respond better if you don't beat around the bush. (What are you
implying, Professor?) Via Science Daily: "[M[en were accurate at
interpreting direct resistance messages like 'Let's stop this.' But
they were as apt to interpret 'Let's be friends' to mean 'keep going'
as to mean 'stop.'" So don't mention "friendship" to your Facebook
"friend." And don't say anything about "sandwiches" either. Because
that means you're secretly "bisexual" or "hungry." One can just never
tell these days. Politely declining will not do. Nor will a response
such as: "No...unless you help me steal a goose egg on Farmville" (which
is not a euphemism, I hope). Be bold! Be succinct! Or at least be able to quickly make up an imaginary boyfriend named
Steve! Who's a professional windsurfer/orthodontist. He's very
versatile, my Stevie.
Some women are afraid that if they reject a man outright (and by
outright, I mean hiding safely behind a computer somewhere), he'll be
offended or angry or will post passive-aggressive status updates and
comments about your un-ironic love for Mariah Carey until you agree to
go to the malt shop with him or whatever it is people do when they're
not on Facebook. But that's probably not the case. Motley also found
that "most men actually accept direct resistance messages easily and
without negative reactions." So there you have it. Lay it on him! Wait.
Obviously, if the trend persists, defriend him. That's a glorious
power, my "friend," and you should wield it with the utmost
mouse-clickiness you can muster! Use two fingers if you can. Or a fist.