Get SF Weekly Newsletters

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Top Five Songs for Vampire Hipsters

Posted By on Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 4:54 PM

  • photo via Flickr/spacedustdesign
Justin Bieber is no vampire. Tina Fey had it right when she said he's like a dreamy Christmas elf. But Rolling Stone disagrees. The magazine's website is running a photo gallery on its home page of several pop star portraits that have been mutated to include razor-sharp teeth and bloody bite marks -- and for no good reason other than to coincide with the release of the latest Twilight film. And perhaps to subtly point out that fangs suit Lady Gaga.

We regret that Rolling Stone overlooked brooding alternative artists in favor of squeaky-clean pop stars who are about as fierce as Stephenie Meyer's literary prowess.To remedy this, we've taken a stab at five songs that will agree with vampires and vampire-loving hipsters. With heavy hearts, we abstained from listing Vampire Weekend and the Beatles' "Here Comes the Sun [Oh, Shit!]."

1. The Middle East - "Blood"

It was the only woman you ever loved
That got burnt by the sun too often when she was young
And the cancer spread and it ran into her body and blood
And there's nothing you can do about it now

Double whammy. Overexposure to the sun and blood. Mmmm. The Middle East performed at Slim's earlier this month.


2. Sam Roberts - "No



I haven't slept for a week
And I'm cold
Yeah, I'm so


Vampires are hopeless night owls. Take Sam

Roberts, who bemoans his sleeping

habits in English and French. Here he performs at San Francisco's Cafe Du Nord:

3. The Pharcyde- "4 Better or 4 Worse"

I'll take a hammer and start to drill your skull
And then I'll really start picking your brain cells
I will be licking, mmm mmm mmm!
You taste so intelligent

Can't imagine Twilight's precious Edward Cullen spewing these nauseating lyrics, but we can't speak for all vampires. Just some.

4. LA Vampires and Zola Jesus - "Bone is Bloodstone"

No lyrics

LA Vampires collaborated with goth-pop artist Zola Jesus on a new EP from the label Not Not Fun. Does the double negative imply that it is fun? If so, this song is not not not fun. That's okay, though. We don't imagine being a vampire is either.

Listen to the song here.

5. Imogen Heap - "Thriller"

Darkness falls across the land
The midnight hour is close at hand
Creatures crawl in search of blood
To terrorize y'alls neighborhood

Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video was the perfect breeding ground for creatures of the night, but Heap's cover will better whet the indie vampire's deadly appetite.

Follow us @SFAllShookDown and the writer @taylorfriedman

  • Pin It

Tags: , , , , , ,

About The Author

Taylor Friedman


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Popular Stories

  1. Most Popular Stories
  2. Stories You Missed

Like us on Facebook


  • clipping at Brava Theater Sept. 11
    Sub Pop recording artists 'clipping.' brought their brand of noise-driven experimental hip hop to the closing night of 2016's San Francisco Electronic Music Fest this past Sunday. The packed Brava Theater hosted an initially seated crowd that ended the night jumping and dancing against the front of the stage. The trio performed a set focused on their recently released Sci-Fi Horror concept album, 'Splendor & Misery', then delved into their dancier and more aggressive back catalogue, and recent single 'Wriggle'. Opening performances included local experimental electronic duo 'Tujurikkuja' and computer music artist 'Madalyn Merkey.'"