Get SF Weekly Newsletters

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Things Katy Perry Got Wrong About S.F. in 'California Gurls'

Posted By on Thu, Jun 17, 2010 at 11:37 AM

click to enlarge You're not speaking for our part of California, Katy and Snoop
  • You're not speaking for our part of California, Katy and Snoop
Maybe it's because of Hollywood, the recording industry, the big, wide beaches, the weather, or the hilariously fucked-up crack at utopia that is Southern California, but the place's cultures, ideas and people seem to dominate musical works that claim to describe "California" in general. Such is certainly the case with this week's entry into the canon of video-riffic California pop -- Santa Barbara-native Katy Perry's candy-happy ode to Snoop Dogg, palm trees and sandy screwing, "California Gurls." We're certainly not So-Cal haters, but the blue-waterfalled Other Half-resident got many things absolutely fucking wrong about S.F. and its females in her new song and video. Even Snoop Dogg, who claims us he loves the Bay "just like I love L.A.," made a few mistakes. Here, then, are a few of them -- with corrections:

Katy's contention: "I know a place where the grass is really greener/ Warm, wet and wild/ There must be something in the water"

San Francisco correction: Grass is for water-hogging (a/k/a house-owning) Southern Californians, who feed their vanity turf with rain that falls in our half of the state and gets shuffled south by a long scar of concrete euphemistically labeled the California Aqueduct. The only grass we have is the kind that gets smoked. And "warm?" Please.

Katy's contention: "Sipping gin and juice/ Laying underneath the palm trees."

San Francisco correction: We prefer to sip on Tecate and lime, PBR in a bag, or Fernet Branca with a ginger back. But palm trees, OK.

Katy's contention: "The boys break their necks/ Tryin' to creep a little sneak-peek."

San Francisco correction: No need for sneak-peeking. We bare it all up here. (NSFW)

Katy's contention: "California girls, we're unforgettable/ Daisy Dukes, bikinis on top."

San Francisco correction: Katy apparently forgot that S.F. girls tend to be fans of high-waisted American Apparel skirts and tight plaid shirts.

Katy's contention: "Sex on the beach/ We get sand in our stilettos/ We freak in the Jeep/ Snoop Doggy Dogg on the stereo."

San Francisco correction: No one except Dave Eggers (in A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius) tries to do it on our frigid-ass beaches. We have parks, city streets, and sex clubs for quasi-public screwing. By stilettos, I think you mean Vans, Converse, or other flat-soled shoes, and if any of us do own cars, they probably aren't Jeeps.

Snoop Dogg's contention: "Toned, tanned, fit and ready..."

San Francisco correction: "Toned, tattooed, fit and ready..."

Snoop Dogg's contention: "The girl's a freak, she drives a Jeep and lives on the beach."

San Francisco correction: If the girl's really a freak, she rides a brakeless fixie.

Snoop Dogg's contention: "Katy, my lady... I'm all up on you/ 'Cause you representing California."

San Francisco correction: Not all of it, Snoop.

Follow us @SFAllShookDown and @iPORT

  • Pin It

Tags: , , ,

About The Author

Ian S. Port


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Popular Stories

  1. Most Popular Stories
  2. Stories You Missed

Like us on Facebook


  • clipping at Brava Theater Sept. 11
    Sub Pop recording artists 'clipping.' brought their brand of noise-driven experimental hip hop to the closing night of 2016's San Francisco Electronic Music Fest this past Sunday. The packed Brava Theater hosted an initially seated crowd that ended the night jumping and dancing against the front of the stage. The trio performed a set focused on their recently released Sci-Fi Horror concept album, 'Splendor & Misery', then delved into their dancier and more aggressive back catalogue, and recent single 'Wriggle'. Opening performances included local experimental electronic duo 'Tujurikkuja' and computer music artist 'Madalyn Merkey.'"