What's the hottest way to pick up a lover this Valentines Day? Woo with Twitter. We're assuming you guys are all trimmed and ready, and we've already told you the best places to hook up in the city so love is ostensibly just 140 characters away. Go get some.
He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not... either way I Internet stalk him anyway.
Every time I drink, I realize how beautiful you are.
When I look at you I think "awkward morning."
Valentine's Day is stupid. Seriously it's a crappy commercial holiday. It's so lame, it should be called lame day. Let's fuck?
Some men give chocolates, but I know you're trying to lose weight. So I'm gonna whisper in your ear " girl you thin" all night long.
I'm broke this year. I can only get you 2 out of 3 things. Do you want 1) Flowers 2) Dinner 3) Sex in a hotel on an actual bed?
Roses are red, violets are blue, I didn't buy you either, but I'd still like to screw.
Happy VD! No seriously, Happy VD. A couple antibiotic shots will clear it up.
I have plans for Valentine's day, but can I drunk txt you later if they don't work out?
The reason I've been helping trouble shoot your computer problems is because I want to sleep with you.
Here's The Valentine's Day Situation: Will you be my Snookie?
Your brown eyes remind me of poop.
I know you are sleeping with someone else and haven't returned my calls and I wrote you a couple mean emails but I still love you. Be mine?
(That last one's a real winner.