(Suppositori Spelling image by Matthew Brindle)
San Francisco had its own season of The Real World, and we always seem to have at least one contestant in each installment of Top Chef. But, other than that, we're woefully underrepresented on the reality boob tube. Here's 10 nominations for reality TV shows that should be set in San Francisco:
Suppositori and Dean: Inn Love
Tori Spelling has a wonderful sense of humor about her S.F. drag doppelganger Suppositori Spelling. When the two met at a local book signing that formed the basis for an episode of her Tori and Dean show, Tori seemed almost more excited than Suppositori. But would she be as thrilled to move him into a Marina bed and breakfast with her husband, Dean McDermott, to frolic for the cameras?
The Real Housewives of San Francisco
Bravo's hit franchise has stopped in Orange County, New York City, and Atlanta, but why not S.F.? I nominate the mayor's new wife, Jennifer Siebel-Newsom, and the novelist Danielle Steel (who's been married four times), and strongly urge the producers to cast a rich, gay househusband as well.
The Hills/The City
Reality tart Lauren Conrad, who actually rejected S.F. a few years back after a few failed months spent attending the Academy of Art, should give us another try and move from her Hollywood Hills-adjacent bungalow to the deluxe housing on Hill of Potrero. Her adventures therein of "keeping it real" could make for the best half-hour on television maybe ever.
New York Goes to San Francisco
After all, San Francisco is practically an island. Hey, maybe they can just host it on Treasure Island!
We nominate Willie Brown's wife, from whom he's been separated (but still married to) for more than 30 years. Just make the whole show about her, please.
Public Enemy hypeman and former crackhead Flavor Flav twice rejected Tiffany Pollard (aka New York) on his fake Flavor of Love
series, but Pollard won the real prize, going on to star in her own I Love New York
dating show. The intolerable New York Goes to Hollywood
then followed her as she tried to make it as a legitimate actress in Los Angeles. She'd be eminently more watchable on Polk Street, insisting to passersby that, really, she isn't a tranny hooker. Taxicab Confessions
The confessions always come from Vegas and New York, but why not SFO? There's a lot of time to tell a good yarn while hurtling up the 101.
This is a selfish request; just hoping for a little bit of an easier time wading through the people who live on the streets of the Tenderloin.
This MTV farce stars Bruce Jenner's son Brody in lame competition for a new wingman. He should come up here and liven up his search by conducting it in the Castro.Amish in the City
This may not be the best idea, on second thoughts. It's already hard enough to cross Van Ness or 19th Avenue without having to attempt to do so behind a horse-drawn cart.