"Every guy wants a girlfriend like Chelsea Handler," writes Dan Strachota in our awesome Calendar section this week.
"She's funny, she's horny, and she drinks like Dean Martin. Here's a lady who believes it's best to have sex as soon as possible in a relationship, so you can find out if potential partners are 'bad in bed, or even worse, into anal beads and duct tape.'"
Here's your chance to see Handler free Saturday night at The Warfield: We've got two pairs of tickets to hand out. Be one of the first two to comment with a valid e-mail addy and they're yours.
Note: All tickets must be redeemed at the SF Weekly office by 6 p.m. Friday. --Janine Kahn