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Thursday, February 28, 2008

Bitch Fights, Trannys and Big Surprises on Top Model

Posted By on Thu, Feb 28, 2008 at 8:00 AM

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So far Cycle 10 of America's Next Top Model has enlightened America to a serious problem previously ignored -- Tyra Banks must be on crack. Sure, in previous cycles she said and did some odd things, but so far this season trumps anything that occurred before. Last night the girls took their first visit to the Top Model house only to discover a bed shortage. Instead there were several sets of bunk and one enormous bed for the rest of the girls, an idea coined by Tila Tequila (classy). They also received their first "Tyra Mail." Unfortunately for us, the message now scrolls across a screen and the girls read it aloud then jump up and down with excitement. Easily the most irritating concept of all time.

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Mr. and Mrs. Jay picked up the ladies for a trip around the city and they wound up in Times Square for a Badgley Mischa runway show (though the Times Square walk has already been done by Bravo's Make Me A Supermodel). San Francisco native and Chris Rock look alike Marvita looked like a fool. She stomped the whole way while looking at the ground.

Later the ladies met with new judge Paulina Porizkova who proceeded to tell Dominique (Fergie's twin) that she looks like a transvestite. So true! The girls hopped in their stretch SUV cab dubbed the "fab cab" to do a photo shoot posing like homeless people. Whaaaaaat? On the way female circumcision victim Fatima told Marvita that her face "looks like a skull," to which she retorted "I've never met a mean African except for you." However, after discussing the rape and homelessness of our San Fran hottie (AGAIN) she and Fatima could move on and "patch over most of their problems."

The episode was ridiculous, but judging surpassed it. Before looking at the best faux homelessness shot of the week Tyra told the girls that the challenge felt near and dear to her heart because on an episode of her talk show she spent a day homeless. Touching, right? She totally knows how it feels to live on the streets. Lastly, all around bimbo and pug face Kim decided she had no interest in high fashion (apparently she didn't realize modeling and fashion are intertwined?) and left of her own will. Then the judges eliminated some girl that apparently made zero impression on me because I can't even remember her name. Wanna be on top? - Melissa Baron

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Melissa Baron

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