Every day SFWeekly publishes stories with comments enabled, and every day you turds come by and shit on them. Why do we take it? Because it pays. Every time you comment, we get paid. "Online community"? You're a fucking sucker. Your two cents adds up to millions of dollars in aggregate for sites like YouTube, Yelp, SFist, and us. So now you know. This is Thursday's Kings of Commenting.
-By Web Editor, David Downs
Recently we said the Raiders suck and the Niners suck.
Naturally, Titan's suck dick replies:
you are a piece of shit
We also said soccer sluts need HPV vaccines, duh!:
you're poking fun at the ridiculous right-winger hysteria, but in using words like slut, you're simply perpetuating the idea that it's OK to refer to girls this way.
Then we sent some self-actualized, self-proclaimed sluts to go kick Annie's PC ass.
Recently we went on and on about the Bay Guardian's ongoing lawsuit against us.
An anonymous coward called 'no one in particular' says:
Do you ever do any market research? If you did, you could ask "do you really fucking care about our boring-ass trial with the
, or would you rather we just kept it to ourself and used the newsprint to write about issues that are actually important?"
Yeah! Issues like tits, ass, celebrities, and funny pictures! The Google Analytics doesn't lie.
We said, we never know what to get our girlfriends for Armenian Genocide Day.
And an anonymous coward by the name of 'objective bystander' says:
whoever wrote this blog is mentally ill. there is never a wrong time to do the right thing. it's just that you have to suffer sometimes to do the right thing and not everyone gets a good end of the bargain
For the record: we wrote a "blog post," we didn't "write a blog." Say it with me now: "Post." "Post." As in: "I posted"; "This post sucks"; and "Whoever wrote this post sucks." A "blog" is an aggregation of "posts." Misuse of the word "blog" makes you look sound like Sen. Ted Stevens.
Now, recently we said, Phil Bronstein is out at the Chronicle, but we didn't pick on him.
Then Mick Gregory just throws down with:
Bronstein was a good friend of William R. Hearst III, that was his only talent. Bronstein was never as smart or as good a journalist or business manager is he thought he was. He actually helped ruin The Chronicle by stripping out any competent editors and marketing executives that he perceived to be smarter. If Hearst executives did a detailed study of Bronsteins management decisions, they could link a dramatic loss of circulation and advertising to his tenure. Maybe they did just that.
Also, we made fun of a Mission hipster flea market, again.
And Isa babbled something like:
Unfortunately, I read your quick statement claiming I could never be as cool as a Mission non-original-trying too hard-bike riding w/o a helmet because it would mess up my expensive styled haircut that doesn't match my "look at me I'm trying to look like I don't care" scrub styled wardrobe-elitist hipster. Next time you are trying to make something sound cool and enticing for the city to attend, get someone else to write it.
Take your lithium, sweetie. There, there.
Lastly, we found real-life superheroes and of course,made fun of them too.
Then one of them named Supreme (like the Taco Bell meal?) actually chimed in:
Most of them are kids or geeks who sit on the computer all day pretending they actually go out and fight crime. One of these kids will think they have the training and try to fight crime and found dead a day later... Citizen 14? The Reals like me and others do help out our community in more ways than one. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions. - Supreme myspace.com/justiceassociation firstname.lastname@example.orgHoly. Shit. We have no further comment.
(See ya next week for more Kings of Commenting.)