Every week, ASD picks four worthy concerts for the weekend, pitting the artists against each other in a single-elimination championship for your attendance and hard-earned dough. This week, the competition is fierce, but only one will emerge victorious. I think I got that last sentence from watching too much ESPN's The Contender, but I digress from my point. Y'all ready fa this?-p
Air starts off with swirling melodies that make you feel like reading a book by the windowsill. Morrissey then counters by singing his life while taking his shirt off. The crowd goes wild, rushing towards a half-nekkid Moz to offer him daffodils and a warm hug. Morrissey advances effortlessly to the final round.
Diplo gets off to a good start, seamlessly mixing old dance favorites together with M.I.A. bangers. The Arcade Fire's epic indie rock holds its own against Diplo's infectious dance party, and drives the final nail in the coffin by bringing out LCD Soundsystem. The dance party moves over to Arcade Fire's court, as they make a last-minute rally to move on to the championship.
Arcade Fire vs. Morrissey
The Arcade Fire can't seem to find an early answer for Morrissey's iconic presence, as the crowd doesn't even care that Moz's latest album sucked. No matter how hard the Arcade Fire rocks, it seems no match for the dapperly-suited Mozzer's bittersweet crooning. The Arcade Fire quickly switch up their game plan, entering the second half sporting bespoke suits and pompadours. Sensing blood in the water in the final minutes, a remorseful Morrissey respectfully forfeits the title shot after realizing that he's playing three more nights next week, placing the Moz in solid contention for next week's final four.
The Arcade Fire by default. You've got more chances to see Morrissey anyway.