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Whore Next Door: Darling, I’m Home 

Wednesday, Jun 8 2016
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The air was already muggy at 9 a.m. when my blue-soled, Betsey Johnson lace pumps hit the sidewalk. I was in Miami for an adult industry trade show, and fellow colleagues teased me for doing the "walk of shame," as I made my way back to my own hotel room in the already-blistering summer heat. I was indeed still in last night's look — but I was sure that 2016 had finally said goodbye to the sex-negative concept that someone, especially a woman, should be ashamed for getting laid the night before. I was in desperate need of a shower, but that was only due to the sticky heat. As fabulous as I looked in my white-witch slut-strut uniform, I was getting all of the fisheye and none of the spoils.

And I hadn't gotten laid.

Yes, I'd spent the evening naked with the world's first virtual-reality cam girl, Ela Darling. Yes, we had licked white liquid off each other's naked bodies, but only because we were trying to use Soylent — that trendy brogrammer meal replacement drink — as a mixer, and things just got a little carried away.

We mostly talked about skin care, broken hearts, and Harry Potter.

Porn stars don't always live up to the preconceived fantasy that we are wild, eternally horny, ready-to-party sluts. With very few prom queens and quarterbacks in our ranks, we are more Freaks and Geeks than Pretty Little Liars — honor students, theater geeks, and nerds abound in the adult industry. Many of us are shy little weirdos: agoraphobic, socially awkward, and sometimes super insecure. Facing crippling stigma and hate for who we are and what we do can take its toll on the psyche, no matter how awesome the job can be on certain days.

The common wisdom with respect to sleeping with coworkers is something to the effect of "Don't shit where you eat." However, for sex workers, fucking the people you work with is often just part of the job. Sex isn't the heavily charged taboo as it can be in other work environments; for us, it's just what we do when we go to work. So while getting sexy once we're off the clock can certainly be fun, it isn't always my first choice for how to forge a deeper connection with someone I've met on the job.

In other words, when sex is the meat-and-potatoes of my day, sometimes that's not what I want for dinner when I get home. I find intimacy and solace from my peers in other ways.

"Honey, I'm home!" I cry, as I swing open the door to the bohemian downtown loft where I often crash when I'm in Los Angeles.

The place looks like something out of a dream, with art, costumes, and chandeliers hanging from the rafters; it's home to a rotating cast of mainstream porn stars, and as of late, it has been my home away from home.

"How was your scene today, Robby?" the sly blonde bombshell Lyra Law asks as she heats up a Pyrex tray of lasagna she'd made the night before.

"It was awesome," he says. "My scene partner was absolutely perfect. How about you?"

Robby Echo, a sweet-faced Seattle transplant who was recently nominated for a Male Newcomer of the Year award, is washing a giant pile of rainbow chard he's just harvested from the garden downstairs, where SoCal heartthrob Michael Vegas is practicing his juggling.

After dinner, we sit on the couch, our bellies sore from laughing as Lyra entertains the group with her incredible sock-puppet skills — not a euphemism, for the record — and we take turns playing "Porn and Tell." One by one, we pull up a scene we've shot and recount tales of what happened outside the frame. The stories range from hilarious to disgusting and back again: newbie anal sex gone terribly wrong — and yes, I mean poop — cum that tastes like pee, and why porn stars with braces need to be very careful during blowjob scenes.

While the world sees us as either glamorous sex objects or pariahs, at the end of the day we're just people with jobs. Plumbers, garbage collectors, nurses, and waitresses all come home from work and do a similar dance of shaking off the day and connecting with their peers.

Even if we've done all manner of unspeakable acts on camera, many of us still feel like awkward teenagers just hoping to be liked by our peers.

My evenings spent with my porno family may not be as salacious as many would imagine, but the commiseration and community I build with my colleagues via inside jokes, Porn and Tell, and (sometimes, sure) extracurricular sex solidifies that for me, this industry is home.

About The Author

Siouxsie Q

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