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December 12, 2007 Slideshows » Culture, Arts & Entertainment

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The 12 Dildos of Christmas � An SF Kinky Gift Guide 

Let it be romantic glass dildos with flowers inside them or Nexus, the dildo that looks like it was designed by David Cronenberg, here are some wonderful presents that you can stuff into your loved one�s stocking/orifice. Happy Holidays! �James Lee
Welcome to the 12 Dildos of Christmas. for further reading, click on ourThe 12 Dildos of Christmas Map.
For those of you that have always dreamt about getting fucked by a bowling ball made by Fisher Price, do I have great news for you. The Star Fuck Machine has 8 different speeds and for around $400 dollars its all yours at Madame S Boutique. (385 8th Street, San Francisco, CA 94103).
If there was a dick that created the Pod People, I believe this is what itd look like. The Vixen Creations Nexus is a silicone double dildo that will run you $92 and can be found at Good Vibes (603 Valencia Street, San Francisco, CA, 94110).
Nothing says I Love You, like riding tandem on the Double Monkey Rocker. This sex machine will also fuck you sideways with its $1,500 price tag. Found at Stormy Leather (1158 Howard St, San Francisco, CA, 94103).
No, this dildo isnt from Costco, even though youre definitely buying in bulk. The Doubleteamer is 28 x 2.25 thick and may appear larger in the nightmares youre going to be now having. $45 at Rock Hard (518 Castro Street, San Francisco, CA, 94114).
This isnt a dong, but a vibrator. I just wanted to add this in because I wish my mp3 player looked like this. The nicely-designed Lelo is $129 at Good Vibes (603 Valencia Street, San Francisco, CA, 94110).
In case your vagina turns into Dracula, you can now arm yourself with the Garlic Bud. This $32 ridiculously shaped wiener can be found at Big Als Adult Super Store (556 Broadway, San Francisco, CA, 94133).
Youve been told that your food doesnt love you back, fatty. Well, not anymore: Heres a $33 three-dimensional Choc Cock from the Cake Gallery (290 9th Street San Francisco, CA, 94103). $45 for a airbrushed Dora the Explorer on a cake that feeds 20 people. Theyre open to more seasonal requests as well. We could have Santa screwing a reindeer, says owner Jerry Carson, or whoever you want him to be screwing.
Abracadabra! Youre now having sex with a magic wand. The use of this $240 porcelain dong wont let you look at your parents fine China the same way again. Yours at Good Vibrations (603 Valencia Street, San Francisco, CA, 94110).
What do I get for the vagina that has everything? Good question. The Portero-based company Jimmy Jane offers this ludicrous $395 platinum vibrator on their site jimmyjane.com.
Its not a dildo, but for those of you that have been looking for a butt plug with more plumage can now stop your search. This butt plug with peacock decoration is $42 at Stormy Leather (1158 Howard St, San Francisco, CA, 94103).
Heres another butt plug thats nicknamed The Things Hand. If youre not a big comic book fan, you wont get it. But looking at the stature of it, I guess you really just have to be a big butt plug fan. Pick one up at Madame S Boutique. (385 8th Street, San Francisco, CA 94103).
Its made of glass and looks like a chili pepper. Why not put it into your vag? Glass Dildo Me (569 Geary St, San Francisco, CA 94102) is the largest retailer for glass dildos in the city and they carry ones that light up to ones that are shaped like candy canes and animals. The craftsmanship almost makes me want to recite the store name again.
If youre suddenly getting horny for a doorstopper, you could always give the hardwood Tryst a try. Find one at Good Vibes (603 Valencia Street, San Francisco, CA, 94110) for $180. Click on ourThe 12 Dildos of Christmas Map.
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Welcome to the 12 Dildos of Christmas. for further reading, click on ourThe 12 Dildos of Christmas Map.
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  • clipping at Brava Theater Sept. 11
    Sub Pop recording artists 'clipping.' brought their brand of noise-driven experimental hip hop to the closing night of 2016's San Francisco Electronic Music Fest this past Sunday. The packed Brava Theater hosted an initially seated crowd that ended the night jumping and dancing against the front of the stage. The trio performed a set focused on their recently released Sci-Fi Horror concept album, 'Splendor & Misery', then delved into their dancier and more aggressive back catalogue, and recent single 'Wriggle'. Opening performances included local experimental electronic duo 'Tujurikkuja' and computer music artist 'Madalyn Merkey.'"

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