0x006E We're loving the new video for "Always," a single from the new debut album of S.F.'s Melted Toys. With pink and orange skies and jarring animations of figures morphing from one disturbing shape to the next — all over breezy, minimal rock — the clip hints that this long-promising local outfit has finally arrived.
0x006E Kanye West, who is headlining Outside Lands next week, just explained himself to GQ: "There's no fangs. I don't have fangs. I'm a porcupine. I'm a blowfish. Like, I'm a — what's the fish that blows up? Yeah. I'm a blowfish. I'm not a shark, I'm a blowfish." Uh huh. Okay.
0x006E Everyone knows you can program an array of floppy drives to "perform" Gotye's "Somebody That I Used to Know," right? Well, some Illinois hackers have taken e-junk to another level, building a mutant instrument out of old hard drives and a numerical keypad. Called the Hard Rock Guitar, it sounds like a cross between a whacked-out synth and a theremin.
0x006E Not sure if this counts as a Sizzle or a Fizzle, but there's now a website called The Nostalgia Machine that will play all the biggest hits of any year going back to 1960. It's basically the perfect accompaniment to all those late-night arguments about what the best-ever year for music was — and, unfortunately, a total excuse to keep your ears buried in the past.
0x006E Prince, possibly the most parody-deserving artist of all time, won't even give Weird Al the time of day. "He's the only one to turn me down!" Yankovic told NME last week. "All throughout the '80s I asked him — I had ideas for 'Kiss' and 'When Doves Cry,' but his management turned me down every time. I still hold out hope." Maybe Prince will one day acquire a sense of humor, but we aren't holding our breath.
0x006E And finally, it's my last week as the music editor of this fine newspaper, and therefore my final edition of this silly little compendium. (Though it may continue in my absence.) Thanks to everyone for his or her attention, support, criticism, corrections, and free concert tickets. It's been a blast getting to call this a job for four years. Best wishes to all of you in S.F. Bay Area music — this is Ian S. Port, signing off.