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Rant: Who Suffers From Your Technological Lag? 

Wednesday, Nov 9 2011
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Ranter: Excited fortyish guy hollering into an iPhone

Time: 7 p.m. on a Wednesday

Location: Powell BART station

Topics covered: Exciting new technologies; the difficulties faced by earlyadopters; how everything is somebodyelse's fault

Excited Guy: I'm on my new iPhone. You're the first person I've talked to!

[He listens.]

My new iPhone!

[He listens.]

Yeah, the 4S.

[He listens.]

The 4S!

[He listens.]

It's new! An iPhone 4S! You're the first person I've talked to. Everybody else — I don't know what the problem is. The connections haven't worked. So you're the first.

[He listens.]

I didn't either. Then I was in the store, and I thought, What the hell? I wanted to try the face to face.

[He listens.]

The face-to-face!

[He listens.]

It's a thing on iPhones! We can look at each other!

[He listens.]

No, you have to have one, too!

[He listens.]

That's what sucks about being the first! I got nobody to face-to-face with, and then everybody I call has a shitty connection, anyway!

[He listens.]

No, it's your end. I've got Sprint and an iPhone. I'm set. The rest of you better catch up.

[He listens.]

I said, "The rest of you better catch up!"

About The Author

Alan Scherstuhl

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