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Rant: Entitled Freeloaders Have It Their Way at Safeway 

Wednesday, Apr 18 2012

Ranters: Two thirtysomething women buying, respectively, diet soda and laundry detergent; an entitled young man eating cake and leafing through a magazine while sitting cross-legged on the floor in the magazine aisle nearby.

Location: Safeway at Market and Church.

Time: Roughly 10:45 p.m. on a Monday.

Topics covered: Entitled freeloading; poor nutritional choices of entitled freeloaders; lack of accountability for nutritionally deficient entitled freeloaders at the Safeway.

First woman: Look at him. Look. At. Him!

Second woman: He's just sitting there eating his cake.

First woman: And he's gonna get away with it, too.

Second woman: They're not gonna send anyone to stop him. He's gonna finish his cake, and read his magazine, and he's gonna just walk right out of here.

First woman: Uh-huh.

[Angry silence. Few registers are open, and those who are waiting to pay are in for quite a wait.]

First woman: Look at him. Cake. Cake! Couldn't he steal something with some nutritional value like some vegetables? Or meat? Or chicken? No, no, no, he's eating his cake. He knew he could come here and eat cake and read. It's his way at Safeway!

[Laughter. The freeloader, seated about 30 feet away, begins to get up.]

Second woman: You see? You see?

[The freeloader is on his feet. He's around 24 years old and walks with an unsteady gait. His face is beet red, as if he'd fallen asleep in the sun. His clothes, while stylish, are dirty. He flips a late-model smartphone into his pocket as he walks past the women. At this, both women simultaneously exclaim "Huh!"]

First woman: That's it. He's gone.

Second woman: His ears were burning. He knew we were talking about him.

[First woman proceeds to buy two liter-bottles of store-brand diet soda with two separate debit cards, receiving $35 back on the first and $12 back on the second. She refers to the male clerk as "Sweetie."]

About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.


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