For readers who just moved here, or have been trapped under a large boulder since 1968, it's time for Pride! Also known as Gay Christmas (the Oscars are Gay Super Bowl), Pride is a celebration of LGBTQ diversity, activism, and history. Originally a response to police harassment in New York, Pride is less political these days and more an excuse to party. (Don't judge. We let you have your St. Patrick's Days and your SantaCons).
There are just shy of a bajillion parties happening, but we broke it down so you can focus on the things that truly matter this Pride: accumulating plastic beads and lip-synching to Lady Gaga.
Sissy Darlings in the Night ($5, 8 p.m., Underground SF, Friday)
After the Trans March, three of the best girl, grrl, and boi-centric parties are joining forces (Ships in the Night, Sissy Strut, and Darling Nikki), bringing you soul music, hip-hop jams, booty beats, and enough Justin Bieber haircuts to sate you for the rest of the year.
Some Thing ($5, 10 p.m., The Stud, Friday)
Some Thing always offers a brilliant and unexpected drag show, but for Pride, they're kicking it up a notch with three shows, featuring the stylings of Glamamore, Alotta Boutté, VivvyAnne ForeverMORE, and a glitter crew of alternaqueer, danger-drag illusionists. Hosted by Lil Miss Hot Mess. Stay for the dancing and Haute Gloo's craft table, because you'll need to make several tiaras for the rest of the weekend.
Big Gay Boombox (Free, 9 p.m., 17th St. and Church, Friday)
Why cram yourself into a too-crowded bar when you can take it to the streets? This is the premise of Big Gay Boombox, a night parade and dance party with bursts of performance art that the website claims will push the boundaries of "acceptable." Bring a boombox, since DJ sets are transmitted over shortwave radio. The theme is "wigs and dicks," so (un)dress accordingly.
WE Party VOGUE ($60-$140, 10 p.m.,
Regency Center, Saturday)
Back from its sold-out debut in the fall, WE returns for Pride to transform the Regency into a megaclub frenzy with 3D LED walls, lasers, concert-rich sounds, and dancers who came all the way from Spain to take their shirts off for you. Morabito co-headlines with DJ Brett Henrichsen.
Queerly Beloved ($8, 3 p.m., El Rio, Sunday)
Three words: Queer porn circus. Now in its fifth year, porn darling Courtney Trouble, Jenna Riot, and other fierce femmes offer near-naked acrobatics, pole dancing, and a "kissing booth" that also features spankings and foot rubs. Electro Latin/rap noir sounds provided by Icy Lytes.