There are few things that can console us during the cold, dark malaise known as winter. We often resort to hunkering down in bed, drinking whiskey out of a measuring cup, and reading depressing Russian novels. This year, however, Santa has come early, and his name is not Jack Daniels. The Golden Girls: The Christmas Episodes, now in its seventh year, is our favorite part about San Francisco, holidays or otherwise. What could be better than four hilariously wicked drag queens performing an '80s sitcom about elderly roommates in Miami, complete with live commercial breaks? Nothing. In addition, expect special guest appearances the first week of the show's run (tonight's is comedian Marga Gomez). The other bright spot in the gloomy season is the delightful, bawdy, and interactive play, FORKING II: A Merry FORKING! Christmas, where audiences have nine chances to vote on how the plot proceeds, making 362,880 possible outcomes for a happy or hellacious holiday. The fully scripted play centers on a motley crew of shoppers (a pot-dealing Santa, a recently deserted bride-to-be, a bored mortician, etc.) stuck in the mall on Christmas Eve. Will Christmas be saved? Fork yeah or no? It's up to you.
Thursdays-Saturdays, 8 p.m.; Sundays, 7 p.m. Starts: Dec. 6. Continues through Dec. 30, 2012