Divine Drama DramaDIVAS is a weekly workshop that provides an opportunity for lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and gay youth to learn writing and acting in a non-threatening environment. In other words, it gives queer teen-agers a chance to express their identity, rather than hide it. A series of new works directed by award-winning Chicana playwright Cherri Moraga, "The Life of a DIVA" is the group's latest project. See it at 7 p.m. at Brava! Studio, 2180 Bryant, S.F. "The Life of a DIVA" continues through Sept. 4. Tickets are $5-12; call 978-2345.
Peter Pan Punks Continuing this week's adolescent theme, the ageless Ramones are coming to town, and if the breakup threat implicit in the title of their new LP -- Adios Amigos -- is true, this just might be their last S.F. appearance. Dressed up in a Daniel Clowes-style comic-book video, Joey and company's new single, "I Don't Wanna Grow Up," simultaneously parodies and pays tribute to American pop culture's youth fixation; unlike most middle-aged people still singing the puberty blues, the Ramones are smart enough to poke fun at themselves. Look at the always lovely Joey, and hear his group's patented Phil Spector chain-saw massacre sound, at 8 p.m. at the Warfield, 982 Market, S.F. Tickets are $16.50-17.50; call 775-7722.
Tres Underground Q: Where can you see films about disco, worms, and Andre the Giant? A: At the Fault Line Film Festival, a one-night-only national showcase of experimental and independent flicks. Curated by Danny Plotnick of Motorbooty mag infamy, this year's fest includes Jeff Vilencia's Smush, where naked feet and plump earthworms collide; Valerie Soe's Scratch Video, in which high winds help spread allergies and skin irritation; and Rodney Ascher and Michael Garon's True History of Crime, a cinematic bio that uses sock puppets to tell the tale of serial killer Henry Lee Lucas. The fest's finale is Speed Racer: Welcome to the World of Vic Chesnutt, an award-winning doc about a fabled Athens, Ga., singer/songwriter who is far more eccentric than Michael Stipe. The screening starts at 8:30 p.m. at Artists' Television Access, 992 Valencia, S.F. Tickets are $5; call 824-3890.
Unleashing the Freak Within "I'm into handcuffs and blindfolding and all that. It's having the control that interests me. That and making men feel like bitches. If I could have my way, what wouldn't I have them do?" That's Adina Howard on the art of being a freak, and she should know -- her single "Freak Like Me" went gold earlier this year. Raised in the heart of Calvinist country -- Grand Rapids, Mich. -- Howard somehow escaped with a mind of her own and a sex drive to match. As a performer, she owes more to Millie Jackson than Madonna: Her No. 2 pop smash aims to amuse, and her recent essay in Details is full of funny/raunchy advice like "Freaks are made, not born" and "There's a time to wear poom-poom shorts and a time not to." See Howard sing and shake that thang at 8 p.m. at the Paramount Theatre, 2025 Broadway, Oakland. Comedian Eddie Griffin opens. Tickets are $25; call (510) 465-6400.
Ab Fab S.F.'s biggest food, wine, and music festival, Absolut à la Carte, à la Park features cooking demonstrations by local chefs, jazz and blues by local musicians, and, of course, vitamin V. Superchefs Alain Redelsperger, Narsai David, Elka Gilmore, Julie Ring, and Alain Rondelli do the cooking. Queen Ida and Her Zydeco Band, the Charlie Hunter Trio, and the Tommy Castro Blues Band (among others) play the music. Absolut and 20 microbreweries provide the liquor. A benefit for the Free Shakespeare in the Park program, this year's fest showcases the S.F. Shakespeare Festival in a performance each day at noon. The merriment lasts 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. at Golden Gate Park, S.F. Absolut à la Carte continues through Monday. Admission is $6-8 (free for kids); call 383-9378.
How Soon Is Now? When does the mid-'90s revival start? Instead of aiming for innovation, today we race to see who can go retro first. Right now, musical salutes to the '80s are commonplace on TV (VH-1) and CDs (via Rhino), but New Wave City revived the era long before it was trendy to do so. The traveling new wave/new romantic club is celebrating its third anniversary, and it's an "Unhappy Birthday," devoted to the peerless poetic miserabilism of the '80s' greatest boy band, the Smiths. As Morrissey prepares to unleash his worst solo album yet, a look back to a time when his singing and writing was interesting couldn't be more timely. Style your quiff, put on your nerd specs, and dance from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. at Trocadero Transfer, 520 Fourth St, S.F. Admission is $8; call 435-8642.
Kilts-a-Whirlin' The Scottish Gathering and Games began in 1865 as a family picnic for Bay Area Scottish immigrants. Nowadays, it's a bit bigger. More than 1,500 performers and competitors will be on hand for this year's shindig, which includes: bagpipe bands; dancing, drumming, harping, fiddling, and log-tossing contests; soccer; and fish and chips, bangers, beer, and ale. The revelry lasts 8 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. (also on Sunday) at Alameda County Fairgrounds, Pleasanton. Tickets are $8-12 a day, $20 for two days; call (800) 713-3160.
Soulsalito Reggae artist Pele Juju, ex-Byrds leader Roger McGuinn, and Latin percussionist Pete Escovedo (Sheila E.'s dad!) are all set to perform at this year's Sausalito Art Festival. Along with three stages of entertainment, the event offers 12,000 original works of art, and (like most fests) lotsa food and beverages. Eat, drink, and boogie from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. at Bridgeway and Harbor Drive, Sausalito. The festival continues through Monday. Admission is $5-8; call 332-3555.
Trailers A.T.A. Gallery's Other Cinema initiates its fall season with, appropriately enough, a program of coming-attraction trailers. Topping a roster of teen, rock, novelty, sex, horror, and special FX previews is Tari Abranovich's Wall of Noise, a 30-minute metanarrative cut from 10,000 films. Three-dimensional roller-coaster ride footage is also on the agenda. A champagne reception starts at 8 p.m. at Artists' Television Access, 992 Valencia, S.F. Tickets are $5; call 824-3890.
3Bond, James Bond Costume contests, James Bond trivia, and music by the Vesper Martinis are all part of "Shaken Not Stirred -- A Tribute to James Bond and the World of Spies." Presented by the Scottish Cultural and Arts Foundation and the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, the final event in this week's Fest on the Fault Line features a Sean Connery impersonation competition, and with any luck at least one Honor Blackman/Pussy Galore look-alike will attend. The covert maneuvering starts at 9 p.m. at Edinburgh Castle, 950 Geary, S.F. Tickets are $5; call 885-4074.
Grease Is the Word The Grease Ball is a daylong event dedicated to rockabilly music, style, and automotion. It serves up a dozen bands: the Paladins, Flathead, Deadbolt, the Derailers, Whistle Bait, the Forbidden Pigs, Johnny Legend, Blue Bell Wranglers, Russell Scott and His Red Hots, the Pinsetters, Sloe Gin Joes, and Haunted Hayride. It also offers tattoo artists, pompadour stylists, vintage clothing, and food. Hot rodders and hair hoppers alike will congregate from 2 p.m. to 2 a.m. at the DNA Lounge, 375 11th St, S.F. Tickets are $15; call 626-1409.
Blues and Gymnastics Sponsored by the Bay Area Blues Society, this year's Oakland Heritage Festival features an appearance by Guitar Shorty, an old-school entertainer who does flips on stage as he sings and plays. Shorty's routine is just part of a huge bill that also includes Little Jimmy King (grandson of Albert King), E.C. Scott, Guitar Mac, Phil Lewis, Wiley Trass, Willie G, and Sweet Liz. Sixties hit-maker Clarence Carter headlines the event, which lasts from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. at Duns-muir House and Gardens, Foothill Exit (off 580), Oakland. Tickets are $15-20; call (510) 836-2227.
Sex and Reason Editor of The New Republic and out homosexual (not "gay") man, Andrew Sullivan is a living, breathing source for argument. But in his new book, Virtually Normal, Sullivan avoids the feverish fighting usually attached to debates about politics and homosexuality, opting instead for cool, calm reason. First a critique of prohibitionist, liberationist, conservative, and liberal approaches to the subject (as defined by Sullivan), then an attempt at assimilationist alternatives, Virtually Normal is sometimes admirable, sometimes irritating. It's hard to imagine either Christian fundamentalists or gay activists giving it the time of day. Still, people who like thinking long and hard about unresolvable issues will enjoy it, and it's a good counterpoint to Berkeley professor Leo Bersani's equally idiosyncratic Homos. See and hear Sullivan at 7:30 p.m. at A Different Light Bookstore, 489 Castro, S.F. Free; call 431-0891.