Politically involved San Franciscans received an introduction to one Harold Miller last week, when the heretofore unknown mayoral candidate sent out a mass e-mail illuminating how he'd run our fair city.
When the unemployed cabbie and president of the Sunnydale Tenants Association rails against the "crazy laws the Board of Supervisors put on the books" or admits he wants "anyone in LOVE to marry," it's hard to imagine many registered San Francisco voters disagreeing with him. That's not the case when he trots out his novel approach to combating black-on-Asian violence.
"I have been trying to set-up a meeting with Ms Rose Pak of the Asian community to teach her people to look Blacks in the eye as a sign of respect, which is all the young kids who are doing these attacks say they want," he wrote.
Faulting the Asian Muni passengers beaten and killed along the Third Street corridor for their own misfortunes is an unusual thing to do — even if you aren't running for elected office. Miller tells SF Weekly, however, that he's not excusing this behavior. "It's one of the reasons that black people are so angry at the Chinese. They disrespect them by looking at their feet or away from them," he says. "You're talking about young guys and their attitude. ... If you disrespect them, they're going to mug you. Just ignore them and get the hell out of there. They are looking for trouble." For some reason, he notes, Chinatown power broker Pak hasn't returned his messages.
Perhaps Miller's grandest plan, however, is letting the door hit the San Francisco 49ers on the ass as they move out of the city, and starting up an expansion franchise. "I have been in talks with the N.F.L. about starting a new San Francisco 49er team and the name of the team will be the 'San Francisco 1849ers,'" he wrote in his mass e-mail. "The city will own the team and the franchises and when ever I get Jerry Rice's phone number I will be giving him a call and all of the so-called retired 49ers will get back their jobs." This, he says, will flood the city's coffers with so much dinero we won't even have to worry about pension reform.
When asked by SF Weekly for clarification, Miller confirmed he doesn't want the 47-year-old Rice to line up as wide receiver — that'd be crazy. He wants him to coach the 1849ers. "I need a well-known coach," the candidate says. "I need the seats filled in old Candlestick Park, and I think he can do that."
And if he can't, there's always Rose Pak.