What strategies will defenders of Proposition 8 use in their appeal of last week's decision in federal court overturning 2008's anti-gay-marriage law?
Point out that the word "gay" never appears in the Constitution
Demand a do-over
Call Jesus to testify — with a subpoena this time
Come up with a better rhyme than "Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve"
Write a country music song
Send the appellate court judges videos of Gavin Newsom's "whether you like it or not" speech
Get testimonials of even more concerned parents saying even more hateful things
Request a venue change to the Vatican
Demand an unbiased judge. Who hates gay people
This time, they'll actually mount a case
Hurry up and take control of Congress so they can derail this while there's still time
Ask that evidence, of any kind, no longer be admissible
Get cuter children to hold the God Hates Fags signs