Valentine's Day is the soppiest date of the year. Dewy-eyed lovebugs would have you believe it's exemplified by bunches of red roses and teddy bears and boxes of candy and cards with pink hearts on the front and cloying sentiments scrawled inside.
The charmingly named King Cannibal, on the other hand, would prefer to spend his time making music that's inevitably described as "dark and disturbed." Based out of South London, his history includes curating a retrospective of the Warp label. His debut album on Ninja Tune, Let the Night Roar, was released late last year and hinges on monstrous, speaker-devouring drum 'n' bass and dancehall assaults that boast song titles like "Flower of Flesh and Blood" and "Murder Us." So obviously he's the ideal candidate to perform at a Valentine's Eve party, "Fatal Attraction," at Club Six, and to craft a Valentine's Day–destroying mixtape, lovingly titled A Long Way from Your Fuckin' Heart.
Here are King Cannibal's mood-shattering picks for his fantasy compilation.
V.V.M., "Lady in Red (Is Dancing with Meat)"
"V.V.M. is two guys from the U.K. who make music that is musical torture. They completely mangle and trash songs. This one's a version of Chris de Burgh's 'Lady in Red.' Playing it is a good way to end any romantic thoughts."
Throbbing Gristle, "Very Friendly"
"This would merge well with the song before it. They're an experimental industrial group from England from the late '70s. The lyrics begin by talking about serial killers: 'It was just another day in Manchester/Ian Brady and Myra Hindley drinking German wine.' It ends with, 'There's been a m-m-m-m-m-m-m-murder.'"
Anything by Sunn O)))
"Some drone music by Sunn O))) would be a perfect mid-mix interlude. It's unlikely to get you laid ..."
Aphex Twin, "KTPA1"
"This is a B-side from a white-label release by the Bug, titled 'Run the Place Red.' It's pure white noise. I think they used tone generators for it. It's like the fabled stories of [Aphex Twin] going to clubs and playing the sound of sandpaper and scaring people."
Kelis, "Caught Out There(I Hate You So Much Right Now)"
"Classic Neptunes at the peak of their creativity. I hated this at first, but it's got a strong antilove sentiment and is an amazing track. I used to play it out a lot — it mixes quite well with some Autechre ..."
My Bloody Valentine, "Soft as Snow(But Warm Inside)"
"You've got to have something by these guys on there. They're from the shoegaze scene, and this is a great song about estrangement."
Ice-T, "Girls, L.G.B.N.A.F."
"It stands for 'Girls, Let's Get Butt-Naked and Fuck.' I first heard this five years ago on the Warp tour with DJ Buddy Peace, who introduced me to Ice-T's music. I love all those old Roland 303 basslines he incorporates, which was how they were supposed to be used originally. I'd have no problems playing this for a lady. I don't think it's morally any different from something like Lil Jon. Speaking of which ..."
Lil Jon and the East Side Boyz, "Get Low"
"Just for the bit that goes, 'Til the sweat drips down my balls.' What a great sentiment that is! Hearing that gets rid of any loving notions pretty quickly!"
Ed Rush and Fierce, "Locust"
"You could be sitting there with flowers and a nice meal and then listen to this — it'll kill the mood. It was released on Prototype Records. Their drum 'n' bass compilations are a big influence on me. They're from the early '90s, but it's amazing how futuristic they sound, even now."
Whitehouse, "Wriggle Like a Fuckin' Eel"
"Another English band, very electronic, very extreme, and a violent, nasty song that includes the phrase 'another tube of shitpaste.' It's the perfect track to put on before watching something like My Big Fat Greek Wedding — and doing so will ensure you never have to sit through another romcom ever again."