It hardly seems fair, but for years the music-loving public has been denied the delight of attending SF Weekly's Wammies music awards ceremony. Here's what you've missed: Folks get dressed up in ridiculous clothes; they drive up in bejeweled cars; they drink; they yell; they laugh until they cry; award-winning musicians are pulled out from under tables where they have been drooling; those musicians make short, silly speeches about nothing; presenters fall off the stage and flash their tits; audience members spontaneously combust; freaks on stilts conduct mock funeral processions; everybody ends up covered in goo (and likes it); lifelong enemies hug each other; newly made friends slap each other; farm animals have orgies; and great music fills the hall. It's San Francisco at its finest, only with a bunch of awards thrown in. No one should be denied such goofiness and joy, so I'm inviting everyone to the show. (Don't tell my publisher.) I promise the finest music (Rube Waddell, Beth Lisick Ordeal, Mazacote, the Aquamen, and Me First & the Gimme Gimmes) and the crudest entertainment (Chicken John and Circus Redickuless) will be at Bimbo's 365 Club on Saturday, Oct. 17, at 8 p.m. Tickets are $10; call 474-0365.
For those luckless heads unable to get into the Wammies (it could happen), might I suggest a delightfully dangerous evening of martinis and international intrigue. Bond is San Francisco's preeminent (read: only, as far as I know) spy party, where 007 is Godhead and "shaken, not stirred" is Benediction. Break out the go-go boots and the white tux; there are pipe bombs to build and double agents to seduce. Best spy costume and sexiest duds win big, mouth-watering prizes, and the Termites, a band with that '60s spy sound, will perform at the fourth annual event at the Edinburgh Castle on Saturday, Oct. 17, at 8 p.m. Tickets are $7; call 885-4074.
Because of his charismatic stage persona and delicate wordplay, David Michael Rudder has been dubbed the "Bob Marley of Soca" and the "Bob Dylan of Trinidad." He is joined in a rare stateside performance by the Charlie Roots Band and jazz pianist Len "Boogie" Sharp at "An Evening of Calypso and Steel Drum," proceeds of which will benefit the Cyril Rose Children's Home for children with HIV on Trinidad and the arts department of the East Oakland Youth Development Center. Rudder performs at Calvin Simmons Theater in the Henry J. Kaiser Convention Center in Oakland on Saturday, Oct. 17, at 8 p.m. Tickets are $25; call 392-4400.
Andre Williams has seen the sludge that collects in the corners of dumpsters. But Andre Williams is the mack, and he's back. In the mid-'50s, Williams went from Alabama cotton-picker to down-and-dirty taste-maker. After the Beatles stormed the States, Williams worked as a producer for Motown and Chess until the antiseptic '80s took hold. Only recently, when young fans found Williams begging beneath the El tracks in Chicago, did the lascivious old gent realize that, for some, music had come full circle. Today's young kids want "Pussy Stank." Onstage in a wine-colored suit, the recovered statesman of guttural soul cues his new backing band. He leers at the crowd, writhing like Iggy Pop instructed by James Brown. He shouts, "Let me put it in!" Williams smiles with a gentleman's grace, but the look in his eye says, "Nasty!" Andre Williams performs at Bottom of the Hill on Sunday, Oct. 18, with the ResinatorsTK and Lisa Miller & the Trailer Park Honeys opening at 5:30 p.m. Tickets are $7 (includes 4 p.m. barbecue); call 621-445.
The elegant pairing of the Persian spike fiddle and the Indian sitar was rarely heard before Ghazal -- an incendiary collaboration between one of Tehran's master kamencheh players, Kayham Kalhor, and esteemed sitarist and singer Shujaat Husain Khan. On their latest recording -- the stunning As Night Falls on the Silk Road -- the intimate relationship between the native musical styles is made manifest. Ghazal performs at the Palace of Fine Arts on Sunday, Oct. 18, at 3 p.m. Tickets are $20; call 567-6642.
-- Silke Tudor