Maybe it's come to embrace what our biggest fan, right-wing TV "commentator" Bill O'Reilly, calls "San Francisco values" all those unspiritual public affairs at which we scorn religion. Surely the fact that the city hosts two parties at which gay families mix with straight ones, heathens mix with good religious folk, and everyone listens to the devil's music is a sign of the end times.
Even worse, Pipsqueak-A-Go-Go is hosted by no less than (wait for it) the Devil-Ettes! That's right, those advocates of evil-doing otherwise known as S.F.'s favorite '60s-style go-go troupe pulled together this day of debauchery. Was there a baby-friendly pot club with teeny-tiny spliffs in a back room? Did the event encourage parents to coddle terrorists as well as their children? Did everyone try a hand at selecting "raise taxes" on an electronic voting machine?
Sucka Free City couldn't attend, but we've heard that all kinds of sick, sick things happened.
For example, there were go-go lessons. Yes, small children learning to Twist, Frug, Hully Gully, Swim, you name it, prancing around suggestively to music that couldn't be further from "Nearer, My God, to Thee." Leftist propaganda (aka vintage cartoons) screening on the walls. Someone with the un-Christian name DJ Brother Grimm providing the tunes. An all-dad band promoting the homosexual agenda? called the Time Outs. And the dancers even recruiting girls to, as co-organizer Baby Doe von Stroheim put it, "egg on the other kids." So they support go-go recruiting, but not military recruiting? That's so Pelosi.
Fortunately, the next Pipsqueak-A-Go-Go won't happen until March 2007, so there's ample time to steel ourselves against further leftist incursions. Sadly, Baby Loves Disco hosts its next event on Nov. 18. Do you know where your children are?