Frank Chu holds the Guinness world record for the longest successive protest, according to Frank Chu, and he has logged more miles than the March of Dimes. These factoids might have been delivered with no-nonsense solemnity from under a sign that read Schkade/12 Galaxies/Bexcroletikol Unjustices/BBC: Kotropredicaented Coverage/ Zekgropentikal/Erupted Dastardly/Elations. For more than a decade, the local sign-carrying aficionado has been protesting politicos who colluded with the 12 Galaxies to undermine his superstar status. His fans have puzzled over the internal logic of his placards (example: subject of ire + 12 Galaxies + two-word neoterism + commentary on media + summation = whaa?) but just when the code is cracked, Chu evolves. Over the last couple years, 12 Galaxies has given way to 85 Galaxies, then 800 Galaxies, and so on until it reached a whopping 8,685,000,000 Galaxies during the 2008 Iraq War protest. Chu recently explained the transformation, announcing that the 12 Galaxies had finally acknowledged his movie star status. This is reason to celebrate (and get rid of some outdated signage). A ticket to the 12 Galaxies for You sign party buys one original Frank Chu sign and a chance to buy him a beer. Those who dress like Chu are guaranteed superstar status in the .08 Galaxy.
Sat., June 27, 7 p.m., 2009