Alameda Art Center's Valentine Indulgence: In addition to the decadent pairing of wine and chocolate, this night will also feature the swoon-inducing sounds of classical music artists the Gold Coast Chamber Players. Sun., Feb. 13, 5 p.m., $10-$25. Alameda Art Center, 1701 Webster (at Sutter), Alameda, 510-748-7888, www.alamedaartcenter.org.
Animal Amore at the Oakland Zoo: Oakland Zoo staff takes you on a tour while telling you about the sordid sexual habits of the animals. Hot stuff, folks. Mon., Feb. 14, 11 a.m., 12 & 1 p.m., $5.50-$9. Oakland Zoo, 9777 Golf Links Road (at Hwy. 580), Oakland, 510-632-9525.
Be Mine: Euro-American harmony group Mosaic Vocal Ensemble provides background music to the creations of local artists whose art centers around the theme of love. Starting Feb. 11, Mondays, Fridays, Saturdays, 6-8 p.m. Continues through Feb. 14. Arts and Crafts Cooperative Inc., 1652 Shattuck (at Lincoln), Berkeley, (510) 843-2527, www.accigallery.com.
Bluegrass Valentine's: Please your palpitating red, American(a) heart this Valentine's Day with some choice bluegrass, with the sounds of Toshio Hirano. And best of all? It's free. Mon., Feb. 14, 8:30 p.m., free. Amnesia, 853 Valencia (at 20th St.), 970-0012, www.amnesiathebar.com.
Scott Capurro: Local gay comic performs his wacky brand of deadpan comic stylings at this lovely speak-easy. Mon., Feb. 14, 7 & 10 p.m., $13. Café Du Nord, 2170 Market (at Sanchez), 861-5016, www.cafedunord.com.
Carmen Getit Band: Sultry blues band performs at legendary blues house on Valentine's Day. Mon., Feb. 14, 8:30 p.m., $10. Biscuits & Blues, 401 Mason (at Geary), 292-BLUE (2583), biscuitandblue.citysearch.com.
Creative Note Card Design: Learn watercolor techniques, relief printing, and collage, and take home cards to to give away; with instructor Catie Faryl. Sat., Feb. 12, 2:30 p.m., $25. Frank Bette Center, 1601 Paru (at Lincoln), Alameda, Frank Bette Center, www.frankbettecenter.org.
DJ Logos: While not the most romantic venue in San Francisco, Powerhouse is certainly a sexually-charged one, better suited to those looking for something less, um, permanent. DJ Logos spins a solid blend of alternative rock and electro. Mon., Feb. 14, 10 p.m., free. Powerhouse, 1347 Folsom (at Ninth St.), 552-8689.
Forever Tango: From what we hear about this popular dance revue it's brimming with so much passion that you could very well climax in your seat without even using your hands. Thu., Feb. 10; Fri., Feb. 11; Sat., Feb. 12; Sun., Feb. 13; Mon., Feb. 14, $39.50-67.50. Post Street Theatre, 450 Post (at Mason), 321-2900.
Fuck the Pain Away: Come dance your Valentine's loneliness away to a night of romantic disco-punk, electro, and indie love songs at a venue in the very unromantic setting of Sixth and Mission streets. DJ Donimo spins. Sat., Feb. 12, 9 p.m.-2 a.m., free. Lit, 101 Sixth St. (at Mission), 278-0940.
Garden State: Single? Sad? Come catch a screening of this 2004 movie, so you can then obsess as to why you can't land a lover as attractive as Peter Sarsgaard, Zach Braff, or Natalie Portman. Mon., Feb. 14, 8 p.m., free plus two-drink minimum. The Independent, 628 Divisadero (at Hayes), 771-1421, www.independentsf.com.
Gay Comedy Night: Dolores Trevino and Bridget Schwartz host a stellar lineup of queer-themed stand-up comedy. Mon., Feb. 14, 7:30 p.m., $8-$15. SF LGBT Community Center, 1800 Market (at Octavia), 865-5555.
How We First Met: Want to see your own love story performed live? Well, in this hit show, couples from the audience are asked about how they first met, then their stories are charmingly improvised onstage. Aw. Mon., Feb. 14, 7 & 9 p.m., $25, www.howwefirstmet.com. Magic Theatre, Fort Mason, Bldg. D (Marina & Buchanan), 441-8822.
In Bed With Fairy Butch -- Valentine's Day Show: Listen up butch dykes, femme gals, and female-to-males -- this is your night. Fairy Butch puts on a rowdy Valentine's show for the women-who-love-women-and-then-some set, featuring games, strippers, and DJ Atomic Pop spinning all night long. Sat., Feb. 12, 9 p.m., $10-$15. 12 Galaxies, 2565 Mission (at 22nd St.), 970-9777, www.12galaxies.com.
Isn't It Romantic: 100 Love Poems by Younger American Poets Book Release Party: Scribes Gillian Conoley, Beth Lisick, D.A. Powell, Chris Stroffolino, and Joe Wenderoth throw down some poetry regarding l'amour, while music outfits Michael Zapruder's Rain of Frogs, Ray's Vast Basement, and Our Lady of the Highway perform. Mon., Feb. 14, 9 p.m., $7. Make-Out Room, 3225 22nd St. (at Mission), 647-2888, www.makeoutroom.com.
Kim Nalley Sings Songs of Love: Bay Area jazz staple performs a set of tunes that will surely make you want to skip through the streets of San Francisco, arm in arm with your sweetheart. Sun., Feb. 13, 8:30 & 10:30 p.m.; Mon., Feb. 14, 8:30 & 10:30 p.m., $30. Jazz at Pearl's, 256 Columbus (at Broadway), 291-8255.
Latin Rose: A romantic evening of dancing, roses, and expression, including beginning lessons in Argentine tango, bachata, merengue, and salsa. Call for reservations and more information. Sun., Feb. 13, 5:30 p.m., $16-$28. Metronome Ballroom, 1830 17th St. (at De Haro), 252-9000.
Abbey Lincoln: Jazz vocalist great croons for you and your partner this Valentine's Day. Mon., Feb. 14, 8 & 10 p.m., $26. Yoshi's, 510 Embarcadero West (at Washington), Oakland, 510-238-9200, www.yoshis.com.
Love & Lust, Lust, Lust Cabaret: Two separate cabaret acts, "A Skip Down Memory Lane" and "Lust, Lust, Lust," feature live music, dance and entertainment from "faux queen" Anita Cocktail, burlesquers the Diamond Daggers, and many others. A portion of proceeds benefits the Save the Children organization. Sun., Feb. 13, 5:30 p.m., $40. Community Music Center, 544 Capp (at 20th St.), 647-6015.
Love and Gravity: Electronic acts Artemis, Rena Jones, Vessel, Scorpionic, and Hands Upon Black Earth, plus live aerial acts, lots of wine, chocolate, and other delectable treats will help you kick off the day that was made for loving. Fri., Feb. 11, 9 p.m., $10, www.artemis.fm/lng.html. Infinite Kaos, 136 Taylor (at Turk).