Get SF Weekly Newsletters
Pin It

"Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter": Such Dreary Fake History 

Wednesday, Jun 20 2012
Comments

The logical outer limit of the whole horror-as-metaphor thing, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter shoehorns the entire personal history of the 16th president into mega-budget The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires chop-socky/grind house schlock, and casts the seditious South as a nation of slave-sucking undead. "History," narrates Abe (Benjamin Walker), "prefers nobility to brutality" — a fact redressed by Seth Grahame-Smith's screenplay, in which the Pride and Prejudice and Zombies author adapts his second cutesy-clever pulp-historical mash-up. Young Mr. Lincoln loses his mother — who actually died from drinking bad milk — to a vampire's bite, takes up training under hunter Henry Sturgess (Dominic Cooper), and learns to search and destroy Nosferatu with his rail-splitter's silver-edged ax, finally setting his sights on head vampire Adam (Rufus Sewell), who lives in the ripe antebellum splendor of a Simon Legree. Shot by the estimable Caleb Deschanel and projected in wholly unnecessary 3-D, Vampire Hunter's bleached palette makes it the ugliest major-studio release this year, though it needs be said that Kazakh director Timur Bekmambetov (Wanted) approaches the material with a degree of Eurotrash insouciance that is probably necessary to approach it at all and crisply handles set pieces involving a horse stampede and a runaway munitions train. Possible resulting "fun" is only slightly mitigated by contemplation of the wearisome decadence of American popular culture.

About The Author

Nick Pinkerton

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Popular Stories

  1. Most Popular Stories
  2. Stories You Missed
  1. Most Popular

Slideshows

  • clipping at Brava Theater Sept. 11
    Sub Pop recording artists 'clipping.' brought their brand of noise-driven experimental hip hop to the closing night of 2016's San Francisco Electronic Music Fest this past Sunday. The packed Brava Theater hosted an initially seated crowd that ended the night jumping and dancing against the front of the stage. The trio performed a set focused on their recently released Sci-Fi Horror concept album, 'Splendor & Misery', then delved into their dancier and more aggressive back catalogue, and recent single 'Wriggle'. Opening performances included local experimental electronic duo 'Tujurikkuja' and computer music artist 'Madalyn Merkey.'"