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Music, All Shook Down Gene Simmons' Life Advice Is the Fucking Dumbest

Gene Simmons' Life Advice Is the Fucking Dumbest

Are you a woman with a functioning uterus? Do you constantly find yourself asking men for money because of all those damn babies you keep having? Of course you do! Because, really: Can't all women's lives be summed up using…
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Music, All Shook Down This Week: Miley Does Art, J. Lo Does Acting (Again), and U2 Does Invasion

This Week: Miley Does Art, J. Lo Does Acting (Again), and U2 Does Invasion

"If you have ever wondered what the hell to do with a bunch leftover ecstasy and Halloween candy and a few coupons for free arts and crafts kits from the Iowa State 4-H fair, look no further than the…
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Music, All Shook Down Hair-Raising: 5 Famous Follicular Accidents Musicians Have Survived

Hair-Raising: 5 Famous Follicular Accidents Musicians Have Survived

AFI's Davey Havok has probably had more hairstyles than Nikki Minaj has wigs. There's been the Danzig Devilock, the Morrisey Quiff, the Morticia Addams, helmet hair, the emo sweep, weird Flock of Seagulls fluff-related experiments -- Havok has done it…
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Music, All Shook Down How to Go See Kiss and Motley Crüe Tomorrow Without Feeling Shame

How to Go See Kiss and Motley Crüe Tomorrow Without Feeling Shame

That's right, folks. Tonight, Wednesday, Aug. 15, 2012, Mountain View's Shoreline Amphitheatre. Tomorrow, Thursday, Aug. 16, 2012, the 107.7 the Bone Bash at Concord's Sleep Train Pavilion is playing host to absurdist rock royalty, Kiss, and its even sleazier counterparts,…
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Music, All Shook Down Musicians On Reality Shows: Top 6 Gross Moments

Musicians On Reality Shows: Top 6 Gross Moments

Remember Toni Braxton? Well, the We tv network is hoping you still do, because it's about to launch Braxton Family Values on April 12 -- a reality show about Toni and her sisters. From what we've seen of it so…
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Calendar, Night&Day How Could I Leave This Behind?

How Could I Leave This Behind?

A young pop star whose name we refuse to use recently told Rolling Stone magazine that in essence, all rape happens for a reason. The context was his opposition to abortion; it was a golden moment in many ways. This…
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Film, Mike Judge goes back to work with <i>Extract</i>

Mike Judge goes back to work with Extract

Mike Judge began writing the screenplay for Extract not long after Office Space opened and closed in a matter of weeks in the late winter of 1999. The two movies were always intended as bookends, with Extract countering the earlier…
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Music, BeatBox

Beat Box

The best bartenders drink with their customers, and the best DJs dance with their audiences. Neil Martinson -- the DJ responsible for "Smile," S.F.'s finest retro-pop dance night -- spends almost as much time in front of his decks as…
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Music, Hear This Hear This

Hear This

Imagine this: Aerosmith's Steven Tyler and Kiss' Gene Simmons are wrapped in white towels, sitting in the boys' locker room of Old Rocker High School, Rocktown, USA. They're minding their own business when who comes along? None other than the…
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Music, Girls Still Wanna Have Fun

Girls Still Wanna Have Fun

Donna C. exudes the breathless giddiness of an MTV Total Request Live viewer; her "Ohmigawds" are as genuine as any Backstreet Boys-loving pubescent, her giggles approaching the near-hysterical pitch of a rabid music fan. This, in fact, is exactly what…
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Music,

Costume Jewelry

Raise your hand if you've heard this before: "Now, for the first time, the unauthorized, behind-the-scenes story can be told ...." Bulging with sleazy promise, it's the shrill hyperbole of tabloid TV shows and Hollywood gossip. It also tends to…
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