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Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi 

Bio:
Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.
News, Sucka Free City Cure for Pain: UCSF Attempts to Solve the City's Housing Crisis via Amputation

Cure for Pain: UCSF Attempts to Solve the City's Housing Crisis via Amputation

Earlier this month, surgeons at California Pacific Medical Center executed the human centipede of organ transplants, pulling off a six-way kidney exchange. It was a fantastically complicated and almost intentionally audacious feat; one couldn't help but recall Steve Martin's character…
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News, Sucka Free City Strapped In: Inspecting Kiddies' Car Seats for Fun -- and Profit

Strapped In: Inspecting Kiddies' Car Seats for Fun -- and Profit

No matter what your doula tells you, the San Francisco Fire Department is adamant: Don't knock on the firehouse door and bug the firefighters about your child car safety seats. "We have people dropping by saying 'My Lamaze teacher told…
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News, Sucka Free City There Goes the Neighborhood: Bullets Fly as Megadevelopment Touts a Milestone

There Goes the Neighborhood: Bullets Fly as Megadevelopment Touts a Milestone

Motoring around the perimeter of the former Hunters Point Naval Shipyard, Arc Ecology executive director Saul Bloom noted that radiation from within once coursed through these environs, even contaminating the sentry post. "The Navy," he said with a wry grin,…
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News, Your Humble Narrator One Last Walk Around the Old Neighborhood: In Which Your Humble Narrator Bids Adieu

One Last Walk Around the Old Neighborhood: In Which Your Humble Narrator Bids Adieu

Well, that was fun. But now, it's time to go. The buildings here are old. The silhouette of the crenelations against the morning sky have changed little since the time of Sunny Jim Rolph, the days when Everyone Liked Ike,…
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News, The Snitch Fishing Store Loses Its Drone — Another Day in Pacifica

Fishing Store Loses Its Drone — Another Day in Pacifica

Pacifica is a scenic, windswept little coastal town of not quite 40,000 souls. It truly feels like the sort of place that should be nestled into a cove 400 miles north of here but, lo, it's just over the hill,…
@The Snitch 
News, Sucka Free City Under the Radar: The city cannot track the drones it owns. Or that someone stole.

Under the Radar: The city cannot track the drones it owns. Or that someone stole.

Last month, SF Weekly broke the story that, yes, San Francisco owns a squadron of drones. This information came to light when the city's Recreation and Park Department filed a police report which, embarrassingly, revealed that a department-owned quadcopter equipped…
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News, Sucka Free City "The San Francisco Way": A City Awash with Nonviolent Offenders

"The San Francisco Way": A City Awash with Nonviolent Offenders

Last month, San Francisco Police Department officers were sent an eye-opening internal bulletin regarding a suspect on the loose. Per the communique, 29-year-old Brad Urmston-Parish was cited and released from Central Station at 850 Bryant for heroin possession and vandalizing…
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News, Sucka Free City Lost in the Fog: Bay Bridge Beacons Keep Failing, Right as the Weather Turns Foul

Lost in the Fog: Bay Bridge Beacons Keep Failing, Right as the Weather Turns Foul

Driving-by-feel may be borderline acceptable when parking a car in a half-spot in North Beach. But it's not the best way to navigate a supertanker through the Bay. Twice of late — the Cosco Busan in 2007 and the Overseas…
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News, Sucka Free City Income Inequality: You Can Be Well-Off and Still Qualify for a Free Muni Pass

Income Inequality: You Can Be Well-Off and Still Qualify for a Free Muni Pass

Come March 1, disabled people and low- to moderate-income elderly San Franciscans will be eligible for free passes onto Muni. This beneficent act is expected to put a $4.4 million yearly crimp on Muni resources. Rather than pay this out…
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News, Your Humble Narrator For Richer and For Poorer: The Strange and Evolving Role of the Thrift Store in a Strange and Evolving City

For Richer and For Poorer: The Strange and Evolving Role of the Thrift Store in a Strange and Evolving City

Clarion Alley smells strongly of beer and former beer. A trio of none-too-young, leather-clad men with shaven heads and tattooed faces drinks from paper baggies at 10:30 a.m. on a weekday and nod, furiously, to loud punk rock. Some things,…
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News, The Snitch Tom Ammiano Recovering After Traffic Collision With Fleeing Suspect

Tom Ammiano Recovering After Traffic Collision With Fleeing Suspect

Passing cabdriver urges politico/hit-and-run victim to run for mayor Former Supervisor and Assemblyman Tom Ammiano was, as ever, in good humor after a car he was in was struck by a vehicle driven by a suspect purportedly in the midst…
@The Snitch 
News, The Snitch Suspect in Transgender Killing Found Dead, Hanging From a Fence (UPDATE)

Suspect in Transgender Killing Found Dead, Hanging From a Fence (UPDATE)

Update: See below.  The suspect in the stabbing death of a transgender woman was found dead behind a warehouse half a mile from the crime scene, SF Weekly has learned Police sources close to the investigation tell us that the…
@The Snitch  Tags: ,
News, Sucka Free City Trade School: Charter Learning Center teaches your children well—in storage containers.

Trade School: Charter Learning Center teaches your children well—in storage containers.

The Bay Area is home to the nation's most aeronautically capable of helicopter parents. It is also home to any number of capable schools, able to offer our children a solid, structured education. And one such institution a short jaunt…
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News, Sucka Free City Crimes and Mathematics: The SFPD Finds More Numbers That Don't Match Its Other Numbers.

Crimes and Mathematics: The SFPD Finds More Numbers That Don't Match Its Other Numbers.

There is, as the old Neil Young song goes, "Crime in the City." "There's still crime in the city/Said the cop on the beat/I don't know if I can stop it/I feel like meat on the street." Stopping crime is…
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News, Sucka Free City Of Mice and Estrogen: When It Comes to Aggression, Women May Not Be So Different From Men After All.

Of Mice and Estrogen: When It Comes to Aggression, Women May Not Be So Different From Men After All.

Discussions of the role of testosterone and estrogen in triggering "typical" male and female behavior peppered the routines of untold numbers of 1980s comedians. It may be beyond the realm of medical science to reanimate the career of Sinbad ("Women…
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News, Your Humble Narrator Faster, Higher, Expensiver: Oh, the Relief of Not Hosting the Summer Olympics.

Faster, Higher, Expensiver: Oh, the Relief of Not Hosting the Summer Olympics.

The rush of joy and serenity imparted after waking up from a nightmare and realizing that none of those awful things really happened is almost worth the moments of sheer terror. No, you didn't eat pudding off the floor of…
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News, The Snitch Photos of 'Person of Interest' Released in Dismembered Body Incident

Photos of 'Person of Interest' Released in Dismembered Body Incident

If you've seen this gentleman, the police would appreciate your assistance.  These blurry photos are what the cops have to go on with regard to a "person of interest" in the grisly Wednesday incident in which a suitcase full…
@The Snitch  Tags:
News, The Snitch 'Distracted' Alleged Criminal Leaves ID at Scene of Crime — Within SFPD Evidence Baggie

'Distracted' Alleged Criminal Leaves ID at Scene of Crime — Within SFPD Evidence Baggie

Police sources have shared a tale of one of this city's least Moriarty-like master criminals. The suspect in question not only left his identification card at the scene of a crime, he left them within the police evidence bag…
@The Snitch 
News, The Snitch Incident Report on Body Parts in Bag Case Reads "Death Report. Cause Unknown."

Incident Report on Body Parts in Bag Case Reads "Death Report. Cause Unknown."

Police yesterday were jolted to discover a suitcase on 11th Street between Market and Mission stuffed with human body parts.  Well, who wouldn't be? A lesser surprise — but a surprise nonetheless — was how this case was described…
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News, Sucka Free City Green Beer: With a Wind-Powered Brewery and Local Distribution, Will Budweiser Become Hippies' Brew of Choice?

Green Beer: With a Wind-Powered Brewery and Local Distribution, Will Budweiser Become Hippies' Brew of Choice?

For San Francisco beer drinkers who believe they're above patronizing a company that advertised its wares via a commercial featuring an ill-placed candle and flatulent horse, the old Budweiser catchphrase of "Nothing Beats a Bud" can be read many ways.…
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