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"6 Souls": Satan-Worshipping Mountain Witches 

Wednesday, Apr 3 2013
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In the opening of the religious-themed horror movie 6 Souls, psychiatrist Cara Harding (Julianne Moore) makes a reference to "ill-conceived Hollywood movies." It's probably not intended to be meta, though the fact that the scene is set during the archetypal dark and stormy night is appropriate. This ill-conceived Hollywood movie is one melodramatic head-slapper after another, leaving no cliché unturned as the alcoholic and faithless widow Cara attempts to discover the truth about a possible serial killer with multiple personalities (Jonathan Rhys Meyers), as people around her cough up dirt and die. (It's a thing they do.) During the crucial moment of an info-dump delivered to her father (The Walking Dead's Jeffrey DeMunn, channeling Larry David) in which she has to say the words "tortured to death by Satan-worshipping mountain witches" with a straight face, Moore's face is noticeably not visible — to keep her dignity intact, no doubt. And as the mouthpiece for the film's heavy-handed pro-religion / anti-science themes, Frances Conroy is similarly lucky enough to get to deliver the line, "Your books may have failed you, but your God has not" in voiceover. For all its attempts to be profound and scary, 6 Souls may well be the goofiest movie since An Extremely Goofy Movie.

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Sherilyn Connelly

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