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News, The Snitch United Football League Fashion Show!

United Football League Fashion Show!

There is no old-timers day in modeling. Twiggy and Cheryl Tiegs do not prance down the catwalk after the cruel standards of their industry deem them old and unsuitable. There is an old-timers day, however, for the men who model…
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News, The Snitch Sacto Mayor, Robbed in S.F., Gets Revenge: Steals S.F. Football Team

Sacto Mayor, Robbed in S.F., Gets Revenge: Steals S.F. Football Team

It would have been easy to make koan-jokes about trees falling in the forest and no one around to hear it for the United Football League's San Francisco opener. After all, the city's team was called the "Redwoods" -- and…
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News, The Snitch United Football League Wants YOU to Vote For League MVP. If You Haven't Heard -- UFL Exists.

United Football League Wants YOU to Vote For League MVP. If You Haven't Heard -- UFL Exists.

Readers may remember when we dropped by the United Football League home opener for the California Redwoods at a 90-percent empty AT&T Park. Overall, the football wasn't terrible -- though the neon uniforms are the worst thing since Jazzercise. Yet…
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News, The Snitch It's 4th Down For California Redwoods In San Francisco -- Already

It's 4th Down For California Redwoods In San Francisco -- Already

On Saturday, we stopped by the California Redwoods' first game in San Francisco. If we knew the expansion United Football League's San Fran era would potentially be so fleeting, maybe we'd have picked up a signature plastic cup. Damn --…
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News, The Snitch Few Show For California Redwoods' Football Opener -- But Fans Still Manage to Have Fun (Legally and Illegally)

Few Show For California Redwoods' Football Opener -- But Fans Still Manage to Have Fun (Legally and Illegally)

Text by Joe Eskenazi. Gorgeous photos by Jim Herd. In the many months between when we first reported the inception of the San Francisco-based United Football League up to the moment we wandered into a largely abandoned AT&T Park for…
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News, The Snitch Will *Any* Sports Bars In San Francisco Be Showing Tonight's United Football League Opener Between S.F. and Vegas? Apparently Not.

Will *Any* Sports Bars In San Francisco Be Showing Tonight's United Football League Opener Between S.F. and Vegas? Apparently Not.

We've talked about the United Football League's business plan, personnel, and ghastly, ghastly uniforms. But with tonight's debut game between the hometown California Redwoods and the host Las Vegas Locomotives, we'll finally get to see whether the UFL can produce…
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News, The Snitch California Redwoods Unveil Helmet Design: Phallic and Indecipherable

California Redwoods Unveil Helmet Design: Phallic and Indecipherable

We at the Snitch love to hate on everything. Not two hours had passed since Gavin Newsom's baby slid down the chute, and we were already mocking Baby Montana's name. Headline: "Newsom Baby Arrives. It's... A State!"  We even pointed…
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News, The Snitch Lo, How the Mighty Have Fallen: Former Football Prodigy, Heisman Candidate Released by San Francisco's UFL Team

Lo, How the Mighty Have Fallen: Former Football Prodigy, Heisman Candidate Released by San Francisco's UFL Team

Your humble narrator may be the only person who ever worked the agate page for a major newspaper's sports section who didn't amuse his buddies by slipping their names into the text on NFL cut day.On that black day, hundreds…
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News, The Snitch Handful of Local, Familiar Names on United Football League Rosters

Handful of Local, Familiar Names on United Football League Rosters

It was Billy Crystal's Fernando Lamas character who made a catchphrase out of "It is better to look good than to feel good. (of course you remember this character! He's the "You look mah-velous" guy.). Along similar lines, former Mexican…
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News, The Snitch UFL Fans, Be Prepared to See Advertisements -- On the Players

UFL Fans, Be Prepared to See Advertisements -- On the Players

The announcement that the nascent, San Francisco-based United Football League has inked a deal with StubHub as its first sponsor was interesting on two levels. First, StubHub is a Web site that allows fans -- or veiled scalpers -- to…
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News, The Snitch Are You Ready For Some Football? The Team Is Named 'The California Redwoods.' Still Ready?

Are You Ready For Some Football? The Team Is Named 'The California Redwoods.' Still Ready?

A superstitious person would have picked up bad, teal and lime green vibes at the just-concluded AT&T Park press conference announcing the name of San Francisco's team in the nascent United Football League. First, as he stepped up to the…
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News, The Snitch The Las Vegas Locomotives? Sin City Football Franchise's Lame Name and Lamer Rationale Bode Poorly for Today's San Francisco Unveiling

The Las Vegas Locomotives? Sin City Football Franchise's Lame Name and Lamer Rationale Bode Poorly for Today's San Francisco Unveiling

As we reported last week, the San Francisco franchise in the nascent United Football League will today unveil its name, logo, and uniform design at a 10:30 press conference at AT&T Park. Yes, we'll be there with a camera.…
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News, The Snitch Team That Shall Not Be Named to Be Named: S.F.-Based United Football League to Reveal Squad's Moniker Tuesday

Team That Shall Not Be Named to Be Named: S.F.-Based United Football League to Reveal Squad's Moniker Tuesday

What's odder than a four-team, seven-city football league? How about a four-team, seven-city football league with the San Francisco team owned by the husband of the most powerful woman in the nation and no team names? We've written a bit…
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News, The Snitch Proposed Rules For San Francisco-Based United Football League Range From Inane to Brilliant

Proposed Rules For San Francisco-Based United Football League Range From Inane to Brilliant

Every time we get a news release from the nascent S.F.-based United Football League, we can't help but think, "They've finally come up with names for the teams!" Sadly, no. But they have devised a number of rules regarding game…
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News, The Snitch UFL's 'Premiere' Player Draft Slips Beneath Media's Radar -- Were *You* Taken?

UFL's 'Premiere' Player Draft Slips Beneath Media's Radar -- Were *You* Taken?

What if you had a pro football draft and nobody came?We're not talking about players here, but the media. The NFL draft has turned into an all-day -- and we really do mean all-day -- bonanza for anyone who's ever…
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News, The Snitch Exec In New Football League Confirms Teams Were Slated To Go Nameless As Late As Last Month

Exec In New Football League Confirms Teams Were Slated To Go Nameless As Late As Last Month

"What's in a name?" may be the most overused Shakespearean phrase of them all. But bear with us -- it's warranted this time. For while Juliet notes "That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as…
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News, The Snitch Go Deep: Don't Miss Your Chance to Name S.F. Squad in Nascent United Football League

Go Deep: Don't Miss Your Chance to Name S.F. Squad in Nascent United Football League

The term "San Francisco Values" gets bandied about a lot these days. And, since the question "What are 'San Francisco Values'" is nearly always a rhetorical ploy to push your own values or bash your opponents' it'd be nice to…
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News, The Snitch Is That Star Doing What I Think It's Doing? New S.F.-Based Football League's Logo Rather Sexual.

Is That Star Doing What I Think It's Doing? New S.F.-Based Football League's Logo Rather Sexual.

As someone who insists that Coit Tower resembles a fire hose -- and nothing else -- I don't think I'm the type to see innuendos where they're not. And yet, glancing at the logo for the fledgling, San Francisco-based United…
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News, The Snitch

Coach Is Who We Think He Is! San Francisco Squad in New Pro Football League Taps Dennis Green as Coach. Is Michael Vick Next?

Dennis Green, who built up a stellar career as a San Francisco 49ers assistant coach, then the head man at Stanford and with the Minnesota Vikings -- only to have much of his reputation obscured when he delivered the…
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