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Culture, Kill Your Television Family Values: Corn Syrup for the Mind

Family Values: Corn Syrup for the Mind

When I was a kid I was not allowed to have sugared cereal. (That didn't mean I couldn't secretly pile C&H on my Grape-Nuts, mind you.) One day my mom brought home Quaker Corn Bran cereal. Ugh, I said, reaching…
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Culture, Kill Your Television Suppositori: Uncomfortable Application of the Next Chapter of Tori Spelling's Life

Suppositori: Uncomfortable Application of the Next Chapter of Tori Spelling's Life

There's a concept in the study of literature that says "the text is the thing." What matters is what is in the book, not what we know about the author. So the fact that Emily Dickinson was a weirdo shut-in…
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Culture, The Exhibitionist Tori Spelling's Party Planning: Details Matter, Calories Don't

Tori Spelling's Party Planning: Details Matter, Calories Don't

After reading celebraTORI, professional famous person Tori Spelling's 275-page Pinterest post about "unleashing your inner party planner to entertain friends and family," I am somewhat surprised to report that my inner party planner does, in fact, exist, and that it…
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News, Sucka Free City Tori Spelling Meets Her Drag Queen Doppelganger in S.F.

Tori Spelling Meets Her Drag Queen Doppelganger in S.F.

Most drag queens only dream of meeting the teenage soap-opera stars to which their stage names pay twisted homage. For one depraved female impersonator by the name of Suppositori Spelling, fate recently stepped in to shatter the barrier between the…
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