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Calendar, Night&Day The Importance of Bee-ing Earnest

The Importance of Bee-ing Earnest

At some point during the last half century, writers, editors, and publishers turned their backs on the time-honored pastime of self-absorbed problem drinking. In its absence, troublingly sober literati began wracking their brains for slightly less sodden ways to serve…
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Dining, Eat The Pho Chronicles

The Pho Chronicles

Nora Ephron nailed it in her witty "The Chicken Soup Chronicles" in The New York Times a couple of weeks ago: "The other day I felt a cold coming on. So I decided to have chicken soup to ward off…
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News, Sucka Free City Jon Carroll's Cat Wishes She Was Ann Coulter's Cat

Jon Carroll's Cat Wishes She Was Ann Coulter's Cat

My name is Bucket Carroll, but you may better know me as Jon Carroll's cat. "Oh," you're thinking, "that kindly old lefty who writes columns in the back of Datebook about the World's Most Perfect Granddaughter. Well, it must be…
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News, Sucka Free City

The Continuing Evolution of Sucka Free City

People keep asking: What is Sucka Free City? This, to me, is a dumb question. It's like asking what your infant kid's going to be when he grows up — too early to say. I would prefer, for now, to…
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Best of San Francisco, People & Places

Readers' Poll

Best Local Comedian Robin Williams Best Local Stripper Marcy Meow Best Local Writer Jon Carroll Best Local Hipster No winner Best Local Crank Swan Best Local Beat Cop Sgt. Mark Porto Best Place for a First Date Ti Couz Best…
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Best of San Francisco, People & Places

Best Chron Columnist

In the time it takes Rob Morse to stroke his chin, the Sporting Green's Ray Ratto will have written two columns about the Giants, another about the Sharks, tapped out 600 words on the Niners for ESPN.com, and gofered stats…
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News, Dog Bites

We Catch Up With Laurel Wellman, So You Won't Have To

It's been nearly two years since the original Dog Bites -- Miss Laurel Wellman -- abandoned her podmates at SF Weekly for the greater glory of working at the San Francisco Chronicle. We must confess, however, to feeling a frisson…
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Best of San Francisco, Arts & Entertainment

Best Old Wine in New Bottles

For years, the Chronicle's Leah Garchik wrote a column on the back page of the Datebook section called Personals. It was a nice enough collection of offbeat news, quotes, and notes, mostly culled from other papers and mostly about celebrities.…
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News, Dog Bites

Dog Bites

I Just Ate a Cake and I Hate MyselfWhat does it have to do before people will admit the weather sucks? Rain frogs? Dog Bites, who has by now spent a number of summers in San Francisco, thank you, would…
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News, Letters

Letters to the Editor

I Am, I Am, I Am Superman Hello Ms. Bites: When I arrived in San Francisco in 1989 a writer friend told me the only columnist worth reading in the local papers was Jon Carroll. The first JC column I…
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News, Dog Bites Dog Bites

Dog Bites

Parody This!Slumped at our desk and coughing fitfully, we were pleased to get a call from Correspondent Jim Cecil, who had just come into possession of a copy of SF Weakly -- a parody of SF Weekly by one Kurt…
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News, Dog Bites Dog Bites

Dog Bites

Ken, Ken, KenSometimes readers write to us to complain that we haven't been mocking some local media figure as frequently as they would like. Look, we always want to answer, if we keep doing that, how will we ever get…
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News,

Dog Bites

An Item and a Half, Plus a Cat Well, it isn't Sophocles, but it'll have to do. -- Xena, Warrior Princess It's been one of those odd mail weeks. Correspondent M.J. Faber confesses, "I seem to be drawn most especially…
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News,

Dog Bites

Jon Carroll vs. Dr. Laura: Slugfest! When Dog Bites got word that beloved Chronicle columnist and all-round blithering sap Jon Carroll had been the target of one of nationally syndicated radio psychologist Dr. Laura Schlessinger's tirades against -- well, who…
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News,

Dog Bites

Examiner: Print More Pictures of Phil! Provided we actually wake up when the alarm clock goes off, Dog Bites sometimes likes to tune in to the Channel 2 morning show to catch heart-throb Examiner Editor Phil Bronstein bantering with the…
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News, Letters

Letters

Damaging a Perfectly Good Fence Is Not Funny As a novice columnist for the SF Metropolitan, I found Mr. Jon Carroll's writing advice very illuminating ("We Take Jon Carroll's Learning Annex Class So You Won't Have To," Dog Bites, Feb.…
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News,

Dog Bites

We Take Jon Carroll's Learning Annex Class, So You Won't Have To Stumbling from weekly deadline to weekly deadline, Dog Bites usually has little leisure to reflect on big-picture questions -- like, where exactly is our career going, anyway? Sure,…
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News,

Dog Bites

A Very Special Dog Bites Christmas Dog Bites was deeply touched to return from vacation to find two yuletide gifts just for us. The first box was from ... Stormy Leather, who, as previously mentioned, have also been responsible for…
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News,

Dog Bites

Hello, I'm Calling on Behalf of the San Francisco Chronicle ... Despite those incessant dinner-hour telephone solicitations promising special introductory subscription rates, things are looking a bit desperate over at the weekend ChronEx. Editor & Publisher magazine surveyed the nation's…
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News,

Dog Bites

Carroll to Dog Bites: Go Away A whole week has passed and the silence from the Jon Carroll camp grows ever more deafening. We thought of sending a scout over the hill to see what could be brewing, but none…
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