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Calendar, Night&Day Get In These Shorts

Get In These Shorts

Here's a phrase that isn't typically associated with a successful erotic endeavor: "seven minutes or less." But that's how long the filmmakers in the Quickies Short Erotic Film Competition have to impress the crowd. The competition is produced by…
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Calendar, Night&Day Go East for Art

Go East for Art

Say what you will about Emeryville – that the city has sold its soul to the likes of Ikea, the Home Depot, and the developers that back them – but the town also values art. Weird metal sculptures line the…
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Music, Gui Boratto gives techno a tender '80s crush

Gui Boratto gives techno a tender '80s crush

German label Kompakt tends to release what nonfans call "IKEA techno" — pleasant, faceless music that's sort of ambient, sort of danceable, but never too demanding of your attention. Gui Boratto's second album, 2007's Chromophobia, was his first for the…
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Culture, Stagecap

Seeing local theater in someone's living room

There's a definite absurdist quality to Boxcar Theatre's production of Edward Albee's The American Dream. Artistic directors Peter Matthews and Nick Olivero originally wanted to perform it in the living-room section of an IKEA store. Instead, they opted to cram…
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Culture, Stagecap

Headspace

Boxcar Theatre prides itself on creating both experiential and experimental theater; the company did a past show on a moving bus, and is in negotiations to do next season's The American Dream in an IKEA store. Even settling into its…
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Music, Skream signals dubstep's dance with assimilation

Skream signals dubstep's dance with assimilation

Too many new ideas in electronic music quickly become decoration to match the drapes at the IKEA showroom. But, as with the Jackson Pollock that hangs over the corporate conference table, we forget that today's sonic wallpaper was last decade's…
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Culture, Art Reality in Abstract

Reality in Abstract

The man in the denim shorts and bright, patterned shirt smiles for the camera from a living room, which has all the features of a typical middle-class American home. There's a coffee table topped with a doily and a modest…
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Best of San Francisco, Shopping & Services

Best Hardware Store

E.M. Hundley Hardware Co. 617 Bryant (at Fourth Street), 777-5050, www.hundleyhardware.com Hundley is a hardware store in the most literal of senses, its showroom floor a veritable explosion of knobs, hooks, pulls, handles, hinges, doorstops, and bath setups (matching…
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Culture, Art Outsiders In

Outsiders In

Who are the beautiful losers? They're the kids who sneak into parking garages late at night to sail their skateboards over smooth asphalt, with a loose-limbed freedom sweetened by transgression. They're the aerosol artists who leave their mark on sleeping…
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Best of San Francisco, Shopping & Services

Best New Furniture Store (tie)

We've long been on a quest to find the perfect furniture store. San Francisco generally sucks in this area: As a rule we find antique shops that smell powerfully of mothballs or new stores that sell ghastly "modern" (read: really…
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Best of San Francisco, Shopping & Services

Three Best Funky Furniture Stores

We're so tired of IKEA, we could scream. Entertaining faux-Swedish names aside, its furniture doesn't inspire us, doesn't make us want to invite our friends over just to admire our new chairs. For real inspiration at prices that don't require…
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Music, Noise Reduction

Noise Reduction

"What's that sound?" muses a khaki-clad IKEA shopper to her friend. "Do you hear it?" Passing the puzzled pair, Ven Voisey smiles, watching art and life collide in the world's trendiest furniture store. Voisey, who records and performs under the…
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Best of San Francisco, Shopping & Services

Best Bargain Hunting

Now that dot-com salaries have gone the way of the job market, those of us lucky enough to still have a home to decorate fear that our options are limited to IKEA or thrift stores. But at the Alameda Point…
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Best of San Francisco, Shopping & Services

Best Thing That Ever Happened to a City With Too Many Cars

Owning a car in San Francisco is a terrible bargain. Beyond the expense of buying the vehicle and paying insurance, traffic and parking are such deterrents that many car owners drive only often enough to avoid street-cleaning tickets. City CarShare…
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Dining, Social Grace

Social Grace

Dear Social Grace, When eating in certain Chinese restaurants, I notice that the non-Asian customers (including me) are routinely given forks, though they haven't asked for them. I have never seen this done with Asian customers. This practice bothers me…
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News, Dog Bites Dog Bites

Dog Bites

Where Have All the Doc Martens Gone?All the excitement over the anti-WTO/ IMF demonstration had Dog Bites somewhat confused. Who were all those attractive, alternative young people storming Market Street? Boy, they had some real style going. Had they been…
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News, Dog Bites Dog Bites

Dog Bites

Whither the Avant-Garde?Sure, San Francisco's Board of Supervisors wants to ban the sale of Michelin's "Scorchers" line of tires. But, apparently, the supervisors haven't considered that, in the name of protecting property values from the threat posed by red, blue,…
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News, Dog Bites

Dog Bites

Light ReadingWhy do we even bother trying to print news in this space? All half our readers actually care about is how they can qualify to get a free Poäng armchair when the new IKEA opens in Emeryville. Well, brace…
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News, Dog Bites

Dog Bites

Headed for the Cheatin' Side of TownNormally, Dog Bites never calls a man. Quite frankly, why should we? But we made an exception for Silicon Satan, since -- as inexplicable as this is -- he hasn't called us. Except that,…
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News, Dog Bites

Dog Bites

Yawn2K Well, in spite of media fretting -- and may we just take this opportunity to disavow any part we ourselves might have played in fanning fears of riots? -- the year 2000 has arrived, gas still costs $1.59 a…
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