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Hardly Strictly Normal Behavior: A Festival Scavenger Hunt

- Shirtless hippie dancing - Shirtless hippie dancing ... in a tree! - A glass bong longer than your forearm - Drunk person crying and/or throwing up before 3 p.m. - Patagonia-wearing couple drinking white wine out of real glasses…
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Music, Bouncer Bouncer Soaks Up the Deep-Fried Pleasures of Kezar Pub

Bouncer Soaks Up the Deep-Fried Pleasures of Kezar Pub

This might come as a surprise to you, because it did to me, but humans still have something called an "appendix," and it can become inflamed and develop "appendicitis." I had thought that such a condition was something that only…
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News, The Snitch Five Reasons It's Better to Have a Dog Than a Kid

Five Reasons It's Better to Have a Dog Than a Kid

Not too long ago, I witnessed an woman accompanying what appeared to be her infant grandchildren to lunch. She rocked the stroller back and forth, while spewing baby talk and breaking off small pieces of cheese to feed them. But…
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The Day the Plot Stood Still

Flying saucers just aren't that scary anymore. Especially after Ed Wood and Mars Attacks, it's hard to take a threat from a giant Frisbee all that seriously. So what's an update of the iconic 1951 sci-fi flick, The Day the…
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Home Entertainment, Game On Puppy Love

Puppy Love

It's ugly to watch a grown man gush over a puppy. The kissing. The cooing. The "widdle doggie" talk. Embarrassing stuff. So it was with trepidation that I approached Nintendogs, the cuddly dog-rearing sim for Nintendo DS. A million and…
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Calendar, Sports/Outdoors Mush! Mush!

Mush! Mush!

SAT 3/6 Somewhere in a SOMA parking lot, the challengers crouch tensely. Clad in doggy costumes, clown noses, Elvis jumpsuits, or just sweat pants and running shoes, lashed to shopping carts "borrowed" from Safeway before dawn, the teams wait at…
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News, Night Crawler Perfect Parking

Perfect Parking

When I was a girl, my father and I stumbled upon a great, unlikely dome of brambles somewhere in the heart of Golden Gate Park. The growth was thick and old and seemingly impenetrable, but we were not a pair…
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Dining, Eat

The Longest Fast

An old friend of Dog Bites had a barbecue at his parents' house in Lafayette. Friends flew in from New York and L.A., the kitchen island was laden with jugs of Mojitos, semiclad revelers choked the hot tub, dogs chased…
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Best of San Francisco, People & Places

Best Unknown Scenic Spot

Ocean Beach offers a due-west orientation along with an impressive vista north and south -- and a face full of gusting wind. For a kinder, gentler side of the Pacific Ocean, take your out-of-town friends to China Beach, just west…
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News, Letters

Letters to the Editor

Burning Mad Hey, some of our best friends have purple hair: Lessley Anderson's piece on the way Burning Man's people manipulate the press was an appalling example of the slack supposed "progressives" and "alternative culture" types routinely cut to anyone…
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Best of San Francisco, People & Places

Most Moving Garden

Even when Golden Gate Park is crawling with kids, frenetic with Frisbees, and alive with residents at play, the AIDS Memorial Grove succeeds as a living monument where people can honor, reflect, remember, and mourn those lost to the disease.…
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Dining, Social Grace

The Word Police

Dear Social Grace, I need to know whether it is polite to use the word "picnic." I was recently told that this term has a racist origin; however, some research at my local library revealed that to be false. In…
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Best of San Francisco, Food & Drink

Best Place to Get Away From It All

Capri is too far away, you've had it with Hawaii, and St. Bart's is totally yesterday. So where does the overstressed San Franciscan go for a tranquil island sabbatical? Forbes Island, that wallet-friendly alternative to the Caribbean a Frisbee's throw…
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Best of San Francisco, Food & Drink

Best Place to Chill Out

There's Golden Gate Park, but you never know when an errant Frisbee's gonna smack you upside the head. There's a trip up the coast, but outwardly directed road rage is a dangerous and ever-present probability. No, give us the Imperial…
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It's a Conspiracy, I Tell You

A vacationing couple pick up their just-developed holiday snapshots only to find a flea-sized disc hovering motionless above a mountain peak. Air Force pilots flying over the Canadian Rockies spot a brilliant orb flickering just above the clouds. An Army…
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Calendar, Night&Day

Night + Day

Wednesday August 5 Pressing the Flesh Rumors of the Fleshtones' demise have been greatly exaggerated, although widely perpetuated. It's not that the band stopped recording after the IRS glory days that produced Hexbreaker! and Roman Gods. But a few unexpected…
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Calendar, Halloween

Savage Love

Hey, Faggot: This letter is in response to your criticism of the female condom in your reply to "Frisbee of Love" . As the manufacturer and distributor of the Reality female condom, we would like to point out the…
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News, Letters


Junkie's Lament I am writing to give another perspective on your recent article "The Quick Fix" (Nov. 13) detailing one addict's failed attempt to get clean using Ultra Rapid Opiate Detoxification (UROD). Your article was highly informative about the process,…
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