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Friday, December 23, 2011

Ryan Gosling Loves Animals, Baby Goats Are the New Baby Jesus, and Banana Nog!

Posted By on Fri, Dec 23, 2011 at 10:46 AM

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Ryan Gosling wrote a letter to McDonald's about the heinous animal abuse on their chicken farms. He did this because he really knows how to get into my pants. Actually, I'm not sure he does. Ryan, call me for directions! My pants are easy to find! They are very large and usually have some sort of candy product in the pockets.

• Have you seen Farm Sanctuary's new rescued baby goat? Because I have and my eyes haven't been the same since. For reals, I now see colors previously unknown to the human eye, and I have insane facial recognition software imbedded in my cornea that allows me to function just like Tom Cruise in Mission: Impossible--Ghost Protocol, which you should know, is pretty much the best film you'll see in your life. So far. This week.

The Atlantic published an absolutely ridiculous piece by Nicolette Hahn Niman about how great it is to eat meat because DUH LADY YOU ARE THE MEAT QUEEN. I wish The Atlantic would let me publish pieces on how great it is give Laura Beck all your money because baby, I would. Actually, I can't blame her. Of course, I had to yell at her dumb ass about it and I don't regret it. That b didn't stand a chance; I always being a gun to a knife fight. What? It's for the animals!

Here's some recipes for a delicious vegan Christmas dinner. Including one for "Egg-Nog Ice Cream Pie with Butter Rum Sauce." WHAT?!

Pigeons are hella smart, science says so. So stop treating them like second-class citizens because a pigeon could be mayor some day. I mean, look at what's happening now in San Francisco. All bets are off!

• The extra rad pet website, Pawesome, is currently running a dollar for dollar donation campaign. Donate to the Berkeley East Bay Humane Society and they will match it and then we will all dance around in a cloud of puppy dog kisses and cat cuddles.

Summer, the sweetest dog in all the land, is looking for a forever home. Is that you? She'll promise to greet you on Christmas morning with a million kisses and probably some baked goods, too. Seriously, this dog is special. SHE CAN BAKE! Maybe! Adopt her!

Baby mountain gorilla, I love you. And I'm so happy your parents are getting freaky and you're making a comeback, because I love you so much and I just want to hug you and love you and keep you as a pet. NOT VEGAN, LAURA! Touché, but also, how cute would I look with a baby gorilla as a best friend? I'd get so much play! Until he accidentally crushed me! Worth it, you gotta live.

• And finally, BANANA NOG!!!

Laura Beck is a founding editor of Vegansaurus! and tweets at mrpenguino.
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Laura Beck


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