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One of the finest punk rock jukeboxes in all of the city means that this dog-friendly joint is usually full of -- you guessed it -- fine punk rockers. The huge windows in front make this an ideal place to drink during daylight hours and the bar staff's indifference to outside food means you can snack on your choice of Lower Haight's amazing takeout selection while still boozing your face off. We wish you the best of luck trying to get the ladies' room to lock, but at least it's right next to the pool table, so the players can stand guard for you.
2. The Knockout
Bingo, movies, record swap meets, rad rock 'n' roll shows, karaoke, DJs, a photo booth, video games -- The Knockout is basically for drinkers with A.D.D. This bar wants to amuse you, dammit, but even when there's nothing special going on, this remains a great spot to just get your drink on, even though it dwells in that vacuum between Mission proper and Bernal Heights. Extra points go to The Knockout for the rad neon 'NOPE' sign in the window and clever little slogan: Good Til The Last Round. Indeed it is.
1. 500 Club
If some TV exec had the genius idea to make a dive version of Cheers, it would be based in here. Held together by a solid community of dedicated drinkers and memorable bartenders (some of whom aren't afraid to get drunk on the job), "the 5" is ideal for people wanting to do a shit heap of yelling at sporting events on TV, partake in one of the craziest weekly karaoke nights in the city, and take photos in the most unflattering photo booth on earth. KTVU's Sal Castaneda shows up in with a regularity that is, frankly, bizarre.