• So, you know how in Ohio, any idiot can own wild animals, but they're trying to ban pit bulls? Now, there's that. Then, a super stable dude who owned a bunch of African wild animals in Ohio, released them into the not-Africa wild of Ohio, and then killed himself? And then most of the animals were shot and killed? Yeah, that's all true, and also, super fucking sad. Well, Michael Markarian at the Humane Society of the United States wants us to help prevent that from happening again. So get on it, because the wild animals of Africa belong in the wilds of Africa, and pit bulls belong on my lap, because I gotta give them all the hugs and kisses!
• Mercy for Animals have some awesome fucked-up commercials airing on MTV. Hey, it's less disturbing than Jersey Shore so, kudos to them. Welcome to the Revolution, tweens!
• Alameda, My Island Home, has abandoned its shelter and left it in the hands of a nonprofit, Friends of the Alameda Animal Shelter. Whoa! That's nuts! I have to say, moving out from under the terrible police department is a great idea, but I don't know much else. Does anyone know anything about this organization? Or do I need to swim onto Alameda and figure some shit out? I will report back soon if I'm not swept out to sea.
• There are two S.F. Bay Area charity bakesales this weekend, so get down on it! On Saturday from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., go to the corner of Grand and MacArthur in Oakland for a Halloween baketacular to benefit Harvest Home Sanctuary. On Sunday, head to the San Francisco Vegan Bakesale in front of Herbivore in the Mission. It's from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., and it's always so damn good, and all the money goes to save elephants and everyone loves elephants. EVEN SATAN LOVES ELEPHANTS.
• Over at The Atlantic, James McWilliams is at it again. Love him! He writes about the fact that nothing will really change for animals until meat is stigmatized. He says:
In all my thinking and writing about meat production, there's no point I believe more strongly than this one: As long as we eat meat factory farms will be the dominant mode of production. In other words, as long as humans deem it culturally acceptable to consume animal flesh -- that is, as long as eating meat is an act that's not considered taboo -- factory farms will continue to proliferate.
I firmly believe this, and I've written about it hilariously and eloquently before. Also, it took me three tries to spell eloquently correctly, and then I just had to google it. Fucking words, slowing me down! I bet stupid smart McWilliams doesn't have that problem. Anyway, point is, as long as there is meat week, there will be factory farms, and the seven wealthy locavores don't really matter all that much. Plus, science says to eat less meat, but I guess nobody gives a shit about science. It's just FACTS, after all. USA! USA! USA!
• This week, Russell Brand and Ozzy Osbourne went vegan after watching Forks Over Knives on Instant Netflix. Welcome to the club, motherfuckers! I'd also think the fact that Russell Brand looks like a beautiful alien from some angles, and like late-stage Michael Jackson from others. People are different, and that's a good thing! Especially if they're vegan!
• Portia de Rossi and Ellen Degeneres, Awesome Vegan Power Couple/My Future Moms, are opening a vegan restaurant in Los Angeles! I guess that's it, L.A. is better than S.F. We lose, they win, and we'll now fold into L.A. Weekly, and I'll see you tramps on the 5!