OpenTable put out a press release this week with a list of the 100 most kid-friendly restaurants in the United States, according to user reviews. Five are in San Francisco. How can we put this politely? They're not known for good food.
We respect OpenTable for helping parents find restaurants with high chairs and inoffensive grilled cheese sandwiches. But many of us have outgrown chicken fingers and peanut butter 'n' marshmallow sandwiches, and we need the kid-friendly list only when the nieces and nephews are in town. For the rest of the year, here is our list of San Francisco's 10 Most Kid-Unfriendly Restaurants.
The Alembic: Child Protective Services might be in touch if you bring your kids to this cramped cocktail bar with loud rock on the stereo, occasionally terrifying hostesses, and some of San Francisco's most innovative food. Marrowbones? Like, the insides of its bones? Ewww. (Though chef Ted Fleury has told SFoodie kids love his skewered duck hearts.)
Ike's Place: "Daddy, this line's not moving. Daddy, are all these people buying sandwiches? Daddy, I'm hungry. Daddy, what does number 79 mean? How many numbers is that after number 41? Daddy, are Dirty Chips made with real dirt?"
Quince: This is the perfect place to introduce your 6-year-old to extremely formal four-star restaurants. Make sure she knows what each fork is for.
Wooden Charcoal BBQ House: We love this Korean barbecue spot with live coals on the table. Kids love open flames, too. In fact, they're drawn to them.
Opaque Dining in the Dark: The good -- everybody eats with their hands! The bad -- how does your kid feel about total darkness? No nightlights allowed.