SFoodie's roundup of tips, news, and rants from the week in animal-free eats.
• The Big Dog was named PETA's Person of the Year because he's eating vegan for health and loving it and also, he is the Big Dog. Rowr! Slice me off a piece of that low cholesterol bubble butt!
• Want to win a billion dollars and never work again and have unicorns rain from the sky and feed you cake? Well, not gonna happen! Second best: Get a job slinging sweet, sweet cinnamon rolls at Cinnaholic in Berkeley. They're hiring! Please note: if you don't gain 50 pounds in your first week of employment, you're doing it wrong.
• What are vegans eating this holiday season? Pretty much everything that isn't nailed down. Check out the porn-y photos at quarrygirl and vegansaurus and then please come over immediately and make me all of it. Girl can eat, trust me.
• Jonathan Safran-Foer goes all Jonathan Safran-Foer on Google's ass in this one-hour talk that focuses quite a bit on vegetarianism. Love him or think he's a smug little shit, Safran-Foer is a smart dude and he really breaks it down. He wrote a book about eating animals and he's gonna make it known. Preach it, Glasses McNerdBurger! Logically! And a little smuggly! Go 'head, son.
• You know how some lip-service environmentalists waste time debating the relatively miniscule impacts of some of their choices, and then totally ignore the things that can really matter? Well, Slate has a great piece on the difference between the environmental damage caused by disposable vs. electric razors. Turns out, electric wins by a negligible margin but the kicker comes when the author lets us know:
It would take more than 350 years of shaving with a disposable instead of an electric to account for the annual greenhouse gas emissions of a single cow.Dang.
• Weird Fish took away the vegan options again. Ugh, so beyond done with these fools. More like Asshole Fish. Or Weird Assholes. Which is exactly where they can stick the rest of their menu: up their weirdly shaped assholes. LAURA!
• In the Science, You So Crazy! department this week, it appears that Neanderthals hella ate vegetables and legumes. Nuts! It's pretty rad to know that our frontal lobe-challenged relatives* ― previously believed to be strictly carnivores ― knew the benefits of a nice, healthy salad. Turns out they coulda benefited from a nice exfoliation scrub and some sunscreen, too. You live, you learn.
*If I could travel back in time, I'd tell them the same thing I tell Hillary Duff: Work them bangs, girl!