The gritty truth: Hot Food Porn goes all Mike Rowe today, cataloging the kitchen jobs nobody who wants to clock out with a shred of self-respect (and reasonably clean fingernails) should have to perform. Highlights (in Porn's words): De-turding and peeling shrimp; cleaning mountains of pig skin (thank you Chef Ryan Farr); fluffing the chef/rubbing lotion on the chef's back acne. A 15-plus-year vet of kitchens ourselves, we've got one that Porn missed: sifting through a cutting board covered with diced tomatoes, feeling for the tip of a coworker's finger (complete with nail shard) before the owner rushes her off to the emergency. Okay, so that's not a repetitive task. Presumably.
Doggy bag confidential: Michael Bauer just can't get no love in this town. Today's Between Meals offers personal advice wrapped in awww, as Bauer suggests staying svelte by bringing restaurant leftovers home to your pooch. Logically, full of holes, we know, but combined with a photo of Bauer's dogs (one of 'em now deceased), it's really kind of sweet. Online commenters failed to get as verklempt as we did. I've always favoured a nice, healthy vomit, cracks blumama, keeping it classy with Brit spelling. For his part, seamusmcdermott recommends dysentery followed by self-medicating with camel feces. Sheesh -- can a girl catch some empathy up in here?