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Friday, August 29, 2014

Viewing Party for "The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell!"

Posted By on Fri, Aug 29, 2014 at 11:23 AM

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On Monday, Lifetime is airing The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell Story, and the teeming masses cannot wait. Anyone who is anyone is going to be throwing a Saved By The Bell soiree, and here’s your Unauthorized Guide To A Party Celebrating The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell Story.

First, set the scene. Make your l
click image Queue that puppy up - CRASSTALK.COM
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  • Queue that puppy up
iving room look like The Max by drawing zigzags on the wall and stacking empty Arrowhead bottles to look like glass bricks. Sumptuous food must be placed around, but by no means must anyone actually eat it, just like on the show. Make a drink called a Squeaky Clean Sanchez in honor of Slater’s original last name, which was revealed in an episode after the producers realized that it was okay to admit that they had a Latino in the cast.

Provide a heaping bowl of white crosses (speed) in a nod to Jessie’s brief addiction to caffeine pills (I'm so excited!). Decorate your hall closet to look like a locker and stuff dweebs or out-of-hand jocks into it if they get out of hand. 
Now for entertainment. Dustin Diamond, aka Screech, was gracious enough to make a sex tape called Saved By The Smell, so pop that baby in and drink to forget. From there you can move on to the homoerotic “Screech’s Woman,” where Zach goes in drag to try and trick Screech into thinking a woman is actually interested in him. Screech gets his revenge on “Aloha Slater” when he dresses up like a pineapple princess with pineapple boobs. “No Hope With Dope” shines a light on the horrors of marijuana, so pass the bong. If Molly is more your thing, skip to The College Years and play “The Rave.”

The night wouldn’t be complete without the ultimate cautionary tale for the partying set, “Drinking and Driving” from Season 4. Hey hey hey hey! What is going on here?!

But really, we'll be watching, check back here on Tuesday for our review of this (likely) Emmy-worthy TV movie. 




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About The Author

Katy St. Clair

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