Dagnabbit, was it too much to ask that a show billing itself as Mystery Girls, starring washed up '90s TV stars playing washed up '90s TV stars, would actually involve mysteries?
Tori Spelling and Jennie Garth play buddies who once had Hollywood by the balls; now they might occasionally appear in the tabloids after a particularly bad night out. Truth or fiction?
Their gay side-kick answers their phone and provides homosexual comic relief, but most of their work involves private detective stuff like spying on cheaters or insurance fraudsters.
Garth and Spelling are the executive producers, but one wonders what they discuss in those board meetings. "Scene: Ok, like, we are in the bushes, with, like, a huge telephoto lens, and, like, I will make a kegel muscle joke about your over-worked vagina..." Spelling does make a joke about disinherited heiresses, so I have to hand her that.
This week they infiltrate a "bling ring": Hollywood kids who rip off the rich and famous. Hopefully they are inching ever closer to a murder, but for now their work involves going to Club Zebra, the hottest club in L.A., to crack stupid jokes and be horny. Garth plays the straight man to Spelling's randy ho.
Who is their target audience? I have no idea.
ABC Family is geared toward young women, but no young women can remember 90210 at its height, and since that seems to be a running gag in this show, it truly is a "mystery." Clever.