The internet flipped out recently after a British lady said she jerked off a dolphin.
Here's what animal researcher Margaret Howe Lovatt said:
In the beginning when he would get rambunctious and had this need, I would put him on the elevator and say, "You go play with the girls for a day"...I was just easier to incorporate [dolphin hand jobs] and let it happen. It was very precious. It was very gentle...Again it was sexual on his part, it was not sexual on mine. Sensuous perhaps. It would just become part of what was going on, like an itch. Just get rid of that. Scratch it and we'll be done. Move on. And that's really all it was. I was there to get to know Peter. That was part of Peter.
But if we're being real here, Lovatt is a B-list dolphin fucking celebrity at best. She's enjoying her 15 minutes of fame (in a sensual, not sexual way) but we all know who the grand daddy of dicking dolphins is -- Malcolm J. Brenner.
Brenner, who I interviewed in person back in 2012, claims to have had telepathic communication with a female dolphin he barebacked in an abandoned amusement park. After spending some time with him, it's believable. He wrote a rather interesting book about it amazingly titled Wet Goddess: Recollections of a Dolphin Lover, that yours truly owns a signed copy of.
Shocked by how casually Lovatt had confessed to stroking flipper to completion, I contacted Dr. Gloria Brame, an internationally renowned fetish sex expert and author of the book Different Loving. Brame said:
"I'm impressed by her honesty and not in the least bit surprised. Dolphins are randy animals (with brains twice the size of our own) and figure in some cosplayer and fetish fantasies in Japan (and it's spread here). They have an unusual corkscrew kind of penis, I believe -- which has naturally prompted manufacturers to offer dolphin dong-shaped sex toys. "
I skyped with Malcolm Brenner, who shared with me that has a straight penis, one time. He didn't wear a shirt and he had a statue of a dolphin in the background. He suggested I watch the then-upcoming documentary Black Fish. Brenner is an interesting guy, and I always enjoy speaking with him. So I used this recent corky dolphin sex news as an excuse to talk to my favorite flipper fucking friend.
"This is old news to me," Brenner explained. Always tuned-in to the dolphin-on-human-sex news cycle, Brenner read Lilly's book back in the 1960s and was very aware of Margaret Howe Lovatt's experiences. Brenner remarked that he thought the medias focus on the dolphin hand job was "sleazy."
"I'd be interested to know what she thinks of my experience with Dolly [the dolphin Brenner screwed]," Brenner said. To Brames comment he replied "'Randy animals' was not the definition I was looking for.... 'non-human person' is more like it!"
The BBC documentary The Girl Who Talked to Dolphins is playing on BBC4, check your local TV listings.