Heart shaped boxes of chocolate, cupid figurines, and teddy bears that "love you beary much" have been adorning the shelves of your local drugstore ever since the jolly fat man ascended back up the chimney.
For those of you who love Valentine's Day, whoever you are, we're sure you've got plans and gifts at the ready, so these suggestions aren't for you. But for those of us who don't appreciate Hallmark pushing $4 cards on us and dictating which day out of the year we can tell our loved ones we care, February 14th is just another Friday, and one that we can't wait to be over with.
But since the day is coming, here are some ways to make this V-day bearable and maybe even a little fun.
If you need a gift for someone who hates Valentine's Day as much as you do, LoveCurse dolls might turn out to be the perfect present. With names like "Psycho Sandy" and "Roots of Evil," these voodoo dolls with sewn-on button eyes tread the line between cute and creepy. Check the website for hexes to put on your exes as well as a spell to raise your sex appeal.
If your sex appeal needs more help than chanting a spell, get yourself an appointment for a session with Rockstar Attraction, a company dedicated to helping men dress and act like, well, rockstars in order to attract more women. During the sessions, clients not only learn how to dress better but also how to talk to women charismatically anywhere from on the Internet to real life. Hopefully you don't come out looking like a member of Whitesnake!
Want to do something charitable this Valentine's day -- without wearing pants? You could participate in Cupid's Undie Run in Silicon Valley -- make new friends, party in your underwear all day, and raise money for the Children's Tumor Foundation. The Undie Run takes place the day after V-day, February 15th, at the Britannia Arms in San Jose. Come at noon to party and get ready to run at 2 p.m.; the cost to register is $50.
Maybe you hate Valentine's Day because you got dumped recently, haven't had a date in months, or you're just sick and tired of all the weirdos on OKCupid. If that's the case, then you're probably going to want to check out the famous (and free) San Francisco annual Valentine's Day pillow fight. Bashing complete strangers with pillows is just what you need to feel better. The fight will take place on Valentine's Day at 6 p.m. at Justin Herman Plaza (at the Embarcadero). It might be a good idea to buy a two-dollar pillow at Goodwill beforehand, because your pillow will most likely be reduced to a pile of feathers by the time the fight is over.
Once you're finished with the pillow fight, if you're still in attack-strangers mode, you can head to Union Square park for the Urban Nerf Gun Spy Game at 7 p.m.. Bring your phone, a bandanna, and a Nerf Gun. Costumes encouraged. Free to participate, but make sure to RSVP.
And don't forget that before you know it the day will be over!