This week we flipped into some parallel reality in which every single thing on Project Runway All Stars was so totally Project Runway that it was like a satire. How so, you ask? Well pull up an easy chair and settle in and we'll tell ya.
First, the show opened with An Exciting New Experience. This is when the designers are about to learn what their new competition is and there's some sort of surprise that makes them shit their pants, say "Oh my god!", or generally gesticulate in a "Can you believe this shit?" manner.
This time it was a helicopter ride, and the designers were so completely excited, you'd think they were going on the space shuttle.
"Helicopter? What?!" says Viktor.
"It's just incredible!" says Seth Aaron.
Second, the PPP (Product Placement Parade) was in full effect with the "eight billion dollar" company QVC, which is itself one big advertisement. This is getting meta, y'all. The challenge was to design a gown for a QVC host, and "a version" of the dress will be for sale on QVC.
Third, Champion Designers Who Should Know Better Choose The Wrong Fabric. It happens every season, good designers decide to zig when they should zag. In this case it put Elena and Irina in the bottom and sent Irina home.
The fourth Predictable Project Runway Moment is one that would seem out of place on a reality show about fashion. Viktor reveals that he is H.I.V. positive in a teary exchange with Elena and Seth Aaron. This has happened enough on this show that, unfortunately, it looks like pandering to the audience; also, Viktor was out of sorts with his horrid fish-woman dress with gills.
I would be remiss if I didn't point out Alyssa's horrid outfit at judging; not even Gisele could pull off those pants, which had black stripes down each side and a big white landing strip in between that made her ass look like an 80 year old in a girdle. I predict that she won't last another season, but then again, all my predictions for this season have sucked. Maybe the show ain't as predictable as I thought.