Whoever said that size doesn't matter clearly has a small schlong, and probably hails from California or any of the other 48 states that aren't North Dakota.
Condomania.com, America's first condom store, recently released its list of the 50 states ranked by penis size and found that North Dakota has big reason to celebrate.
The 39th state historically ranks numero uno in the battle of the crotch, while our own Golden State lost a good deal of shimmer at number 15. Looks like Christmas came early for North Dakota, while the rest of us got a low-hanging sack of coal.
Now let's observe the hard data: Condomania analyzed condom sales of the last two years from their site and ranked each state based on the percentage of large and small condoms purchased compared to sales for regular-sized condom.
The Dakotas, North and South, claim first and third with Rhode Island sandwiched in between.
Don't fret, California! Coming in 15th place isn't too bad. It means we're slightly above average! At least we're not Mississippi (50). And Georgia somehow didn't even rank while Washington D.C. did (4). Tricky dicks.
We might want to reconsider our state animal though. The California grizzly bear averages 12 inches. Definitely not average.