Season 2 of K-Town comes to an end with Young and So Young's wedding ceremony which -- as indicated by its feckless preparatory phase -- was always destined to be a complete shitshow. Nothing but the best for our Young and So Young.
After Christina and Scarlet decide to lay off of Uncle Joe for the wedding cake mishap, the show presses on. The ceremony is generically sweet, as you'd expect of any couple's third wedding in less than a year. The charming officiant tells unoffensive jokes about married life. Andrew Garcia sings a husky-voiced, acoustic ballad. The couple lights a unity candle. Young performs a traditional bow for So Young's mom. So Young cries. The bride's tears really convince me that these two are seriously in love. I'd imagine that after that many consecutive ceremonies, some couples would be utterly dry-eyed at the altar while reminding each other, "Dude, I told you how much I loved you in front of everyone like two weeks ago."
There's a montage of Violet, Scarlet, Jasmine, and Christine dabbing at their eyes during the ceremony and in the greatest editing decision ever, it is followed up by a shot of Jessica looking like she's waiting in line at the DMV. Cold-blooded. Even Prince Jowe looks like he's moved by this plebeian wedding that he's wandered into after collecting his taxes.
After this display of a loving, functional adult relationship, most of us loyal K-Town viewers started feeling uneasy as we waited for the other shoe to drop. And what better time for the bottom to fall out then during the reception speeches? Maid of Honor Scarlet, after losing a bet to Christine, has to wear a short "ajumma" wig which features a hairstyle favored among all Korean woman over the age of 50. Her speech is more of a short paraphrasing of a conversation she had had with So Young that one time, but she allays Young's fears that she'd morph into a Chinese female Sam Kinison in front of the wedding guests and gets high marks. Remember: High marks are even higher when the bar is set low.
Next up is Best Mohawk Steve, who doesn't deliver a speech per se. He basically experiences a 5-minute verbal tic with a microphone to his mouth and a bottle of soju in his back pocket. Forgetting that So Young's mother is in the house, Steve swears up a storm, tells inappropriate jokes devoid of punchlines, allows for uncomfortable silences, and then proceeds to tell an anecdote about once advising Young to not propose to his now wife.
The wedding guests look horrified and the K-Town crew get Uncle Joe to put a muzzle on Mohawk Steve. Uncle Joe and Prince Jowe walk up to the front and start an early round of applause to effectively end the speech. Steve is beyond offended but lets Uncle Joe take the mic. Uncle Joe delivers a more coherent speech but then derails into a bizarre, self-promotional tangent about his own love life. He walks over to Jessica, who does not seem to realize that he is talking about his love for her, and looks genuinely perplexed when Uncle Joe takes one of 47 rings off of his fingers and hands it to her as a promissory ring -- a placeholder until he actually proposes.
However, it takes Uncle Joe two tries to actually pop this question as Mohawk Steve -- still bitter about his Best Man speech's premature end -- keeps interrupting with side commentary. Soon, Steve's comments are too much for Uncle Joe to handle and he leaves the reception hall, angry that Steve has embarrassed him and Jessica. How dare Mohawk Steve ruin an intensely personal moment that was publicly hijacking someone else's wedding? The nerve. But in Mohawk Steve's defense, I think Jessica's apathetic acceptance of a 2-pound pinky ring was more embarrassing to Uncle Joe than anything Steve was jibber-jabbering about. She appeared to wish she were actually at the DMV rather than be in this situation.
Prince Jowe follows Uncle Joe outside and Joe begins complaining about his sullied moment. When Jessica joins them, we learn that for once she is not upset and is not calling for Uncle Joe to commit battery for her. Uncle Joe says he was overcome with emotion in the moment and was compelled to ask her if he could one day ask her to marry him. Jessica stares at him blankly and cracks a half-smile and I wonder how many of Violet's spiked boba drinks she's had. Uncle Joe points out that Jessica never verbally answered his question and she says she doesn't even know what a promissory ring is. Well, that sounds like a "no" if I've ever heard it, but she follows up with "Now I do." Uncle Joe gives her yet another ring, telling her, "You're mine, now," which sounds ominous and not what Mohawk Steve would define as "consensual."
Inside, Jasmine tries to explain to Steve why his actions were inappropriate and for a while he cannot stop fixating on how his speech was interrupted first. Finally, Steve catches Uncle Joe to apologize and to explain that he didn't quite understand what Uncle Joe was actually asking of Jessica. Uncle Joe cuts him a break, probably because Jessica didn't even understand what he was asking her and the two friends make up just in time to re-join the festivities. The bouquet is thrown, Young and So Young participate in some traditional Korean wedding customs, and the group brings it in for one more hug. Young says he will miss them all when he and So Young move to Guam, and I think he's being honest. After all, once the couple moves they will have to search for a brand new group of friends who will neglect them in order to focus on their own broken egos. Those friendships are found but once in a lifetime.
So long, K-Town. May the indelible images you've seared into my brain never fade, even with prolonged alcohol use.
Catch all episodes of K-Town on Youtube's LOUD channel.