Arts and culture editor Anna Pulley and freelance writer Jamie McKenzie like to learn things the hard way. While this is not the best life strategy, it does come in handy when making end of year lists. Here's our advice for being a better artist, drinker, lover, writer, consumer, friend, and Twitterer in the coming year.
1. Nothing lasts forever, even unemployment benefits.
2. Eating right and exercising consistently over an extended period of time really do help you lose weight and feel better, and none of these things are easy.
3. As an advice columnist, you should probably take your own advice.
4. You can throw up so hard that you may pull a muscle in your heart.
5. Seriously, drink less than you do. Just do it. You will thank us. (see No. 4)
6. People do want to help you, they really do. You just have to ask. Don't be afraid to.
7. Just because Twitter is a well-organized and shiny app, does not make its members' contributions any better than the AOL chat rooms of yore.
8. If you are applying to college, apply to more than just Berkeley.
9. Croutons do not constitute dinner, especially when you're 30.
10. Positive thinking and praying to a deity in India might net you a girlfriend, but she's not guaranteed to be right for you.
11. You can have an orgasm during yoga. Yeah, that happened. What else happened? Horse yoga. <-- gross
12. Rachael Ray's recipes: surprisingly informative, fun, and delicious!
13. Lena Dunham, pretty much right about everything at this point.
14. Donald Trump, pretty much wrong about everything. Forever.
15. The government is really talented at coming up with many different phrases that all mean, "No, we're not doing anything productive right now."
16. Your heroes are real people and they are on Facebook. No one ever feels too good about their work. Tell them. It's easy.
18. One of the best online sources for classy boob pictures is #boobs on Twitter. Who da thunk?
19. Freelancing requires actual discipline. See #boobs above. (Or rather, don't see them).
20. Your friends having kids and your exes having mortgages doesn't mean that your frozen pizza life isn't ... that you aren't a ... we'll revisit this when we're 38, thank you very much.
21. Parks! Always awesome and apparently really well-funded!
23. Fighting with your significant other is normal, not catastrophic. Make yourself some soup and calm the fuck down.
24. Working for corporations can pay as little as working for nonprofits. And the recession did not end three years ago. See unemployment benefits above.
25. The best casual encounter ads are published immediately before a Mayan apocalypse.