We begin the episode, "Friendly Fire," with the Jasmine and Scarlet showdown that began bubbling up last week because Mohawk Steve planted one on Jasmine's sister Christine. In summation: Jasmine overreacts, Scarlet tells her not to overreact, Jasmine tells her to stay out of her family business, Scarlet hulks out, Jasmine tells her not to overreact. Such is the Circle of K-Town Life.
Choice sound bites include Jasmine asking Scarlet rhetorically, "Are you a Chang? Are you a Chang? You're not a Chang." Now I want to screen print some "Are you a Chang?" t-shirts. No, Scarlet is not a Chang, clearly, because she tries to rationally explain to Mohawk Steve that she was only trying to get people to back off of whatever questionable life decisions he and Christine were about to make together. Steve tells Scarlet that Jasmine loves her more than she's ever loved him, which is less reassuring as it is sad. It is the best idea to measure one's love for another, based on how much less they love you? And what about context? "I love this bacon cheeseburger more than I've ever loved Steve."
Everyone tries to calm Scarlet down, even Prince Jowe who offers to get her a drink, maybe even in one of his royal goblets. Scarlet refuses, saying Jowe is "just as bad," which prompts him to dismiss all goodwill and tell her to get the fuck out of his kingdom. Scarlet then sets her rage sights on Violet, bringing up a snide comment Violet had made at the Audrey fashion show that her shoe was worth more than Scarlet's entire outfit. Scarlet had marred the luxurious shoe by accidentally spilling some booze on it. Violet asks Scarlet if she's tripping again, pointing out that she's always starting fights. In Violet's interview, she says that just because a person wears cheap clothes, it doesn't mean they shouldn't care about other people's clothes. I guess?
When she's run out of grudges to unearth, Scarlet goes outside to look for Christine. Christine is with Jasmine, who is fanning herself and has got some kind of Karl Lagerfeld-meets-Lucius Malfoy steez going on. Jasmine explains to Scarlet that she will always be extra sensitive when it comes to matters involving Christine and just like that, the ladies have squashed it (though Scarlet says in her interview that Jasmine was still being a bitch) and they go order some drinks. It's almost as if the fight was pointless from the beginning.
The next day, Jasmine takes the girls to the shooting range, "the perfect hangover cure" as one of the ladies describes. Loud noises, increased adrenaline, and the general concepts of death and pain? I'd rather just go to IHOP to recuperate. Scarlet is salty that Violet was invited and expresses a desire to shoot her. Violet shows some surprising dexterity with a rifle that is almost as tall as she is and Scarlet shoots her gun so hard that the police captain hat that she's inexplicably wearing falls off. Scarlet describes that moment as feeling like Coolio of "Gangsta's Paradise" fame which makes me think the kickback from that gun was so forceful, that it sent her back to 1995.
Scarlet and Jasmine go on a Violet-free outing for dim sum, where Jasmine finds it adorable that Scarlet can correctly pronounce the names of various Chinese foods. We learn that Scarlet was actually born and raised in Hong Kong until the British handover back to China. She also likens eating a Shanghai soup dumpling to letting a guy "bust a load" in your mouth. I refuse to let Scarlet ruin soup dumplings for me and that's all I'll say about that.
Jasmine explains that her concerns about her sister stem from the fact that Steve feels like a brother to her and she doesn't want to imagine her sister and brother doing it. Fair enough. She then goes on to say that their kids would probably have five boobs, one eyeball, a goatee, and blond hair. No mention of a mohawk, though. There's just no attention to detail with this generation sometimes.
Scarlet then bitches about Violet saying that she can spend all she wants on expensive clothes but she can't buy a better personality. Maybe the clothes were so pricey that there wasn't enough left over for a personality? It's a viable explanation. Scarlet also says that Violet's parents did a horrible job raising her and that she can't count on her for anything.
Also on the topic of money, Jasmine tries to talk Scarlet out of going back to stripping. Scarlet wants to return to it because she can make up to $1,000 a night, it's easy, and she knows what to expect. The non-stripping jobs for which she is qualified only pay $10-$15 an hour, which seems low. But then I remembered that Scarlet has a degree in Women's Studies, so it explains everything. As an English and Asian American Studies degree holder, I feel her pain.
Jasmine asks if Scarlet can make her ass clap and Scarlet says that she is unable to due to a lack of ass fat. It's the "She sells seashells by the sea shore" of 2012. She then remarks that Jasmine has an ass like "a black girl from Africa." I don't want to get didactic with a women's studies major, but perhaps we should all stop commenting on black women's bodies. Let's just stop.
Jasmine suggests that Scarlet help out with her sister's wedding planning business, perhaps in sales, instead of going back to stripping. Scarlet likens stripping to sales so she says she'll give it a try. I don't think that the analogy is very strong, but my entrepreneurial instinct says that Christine should turn her business into a wedding/bachelor party planning enterprise, with Scarlet at the helm of stripper logistics. Two birds, one stone.
Speaking of Christine, Mohawk Steve has invited her out for Korean BBQ with the boys. Prince Jowe starts flirting with Christine, calling her "wifey material" and she flirts back. Perhaps Prince Jowe is feeling particularly saucy because Steve asked him if was affected by meeting Violet's new Caucasian man-friend Blair. The open flirting between Prince Jowe and Christine causes the heart that lives inside Steve's mohawk to get a little bruised. Steve says it's disrespectful for Prince Jowe to hit on Christine in front of him. He says that even though he and Christine are "nothing," they did in fact make out. If "making out" were a measure of relationship status, then Young's wife So Young would be in a civil union with that chicken wing from last episode.
To cut the tension, the group takes turn with a beer bong and all do horribly, especially Young who starts hacking like an old man. He has a contemplative moment, though, when he asks the guys if it's wrong that he feels regret about giving up his entertainment dreams in order to marry So Young. Prince Jowe says that So Young will be supportive of him regardless of what he does career-wise. But Young still feels like he's sacrificing his dream for the love of his life and is clearly conflicted about it. I personally wouldn't know what to say to him to allay his worries. This discount "Are you a Chang?" t-shirt will just have to do.
K-Town airs on Wednesdays on YouTube's LOUD channel.